Super Giant Robot Carnival
by Lord Raa
Summary: The reflections of a police officer in Special Vehicles' Second Section. Patlabor Crossover/Fusion type thing
1. Prologue

Super Giant Robot Carnival  
  
By Lord Raa  
  
Disclaim- Me-Do!:- The inspiration for this story came from other people (or I might have stolen certain ideas off them): Black Dragon, David A. Tatum, Rumiko Takahashi, Headgear, Penny Bigglesworth and probably some others that I can't remember at this time.  
  
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Prologue/teaser - Oh, how I love to tease you folks! ^__^  
  
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The woman from the publishing company was shown to the captain's office, thanking the officer, she introduced herself.  
  
"Hello, my name is Megumi Kawamitsu, I'm here to talk with you about a book deal."  
  
"Ah, yes I vaguely remember something about that. What kind of book are you looking to write?"  
  
"I'm sorry, but you misunderstand. I don't write the books, I here to see you want to write an autobiography or if prefer to have it written for you."  
  
"Oh, I see. I do apologise. What makes me so important to warrant a book, whomever writes it?" The man was deadpan, but those who knew him suspected that he was quite aware of what made him so interesting.  
  
"Well, you're something of a legend among the police force, especially the labor units. I bet even the construction industry divisions look up to you."  
  
"If you say so, Miss Kawamitsu. But so was one of my predecessors, Captain Goto. He was someone you wanted on your side."  
  
'But he wasn't as handsome as you.' "Well, our research shows us that you are a someone the public likes. We think it could be a best seller."  
  
"Hm, I wonder what the Chief had to say about that?"   
  
"The higher ups, thought that it was a good idea, that it could help the image of the Special Vehicles divisions."  
  
"I thought that was the case, I doubt that I had much say in it anyway. So where do we start? How far back into the mists of time do you want to travel? Just my career in the police or why I am the man I am?"  
  
Megumi thought for a few seconds. "I think that the people would like to hear the story from the beginning."  
  
The captain's face darkened for a moment as he remembered his early days, before breaking into a smile. "This meeting is over."  
  
"What? But I thought that..."  
  
Cutting her off, the captain spoke with a friendly tone, "The story is a long one, Miss Kawamitsu. We will have to arrange a series of meetings, why just to get my life up to when I joined Special Vehicles would take until the morning. Besides, I have yet to hear about how much I'm going to get paid."  
  
Megumi was stunned, she glanced at the clock on the wall, it read 6.30. "Oh, sorry, then you'll do the book?"  
  
"Yes, when I can. But I can't allow it to interfere with my job, so it will have to be an authorised biography or you get me some assistance with writing it."  
  
"Yes, I'll talk with the company and we'll see what we do."   
  
"I'll leave it up to you to organise the next meeting."  
  
"Thank you once again, captain Yotsuga." Megumi bowed.  
  
"Don't mention it. Do you think that we should serialise it in a magazine, or wait until we're done for the book?"  
  
"I think we should serialise it and when we're done, we could release a book with a new forward or something." 'Like a photo montage of his early days as a labor pilot.' Megumi allowed herself a brief, but naughty fantasy.  
  
Captain Yotsuga muttered to himself "not again, why do I attract so many women?"  
  
This brought Megumi back from her reverie. Blushing slightly she made her farewell.  
  
Turning to the window in his office, he looked out at the yard and in turn to the city skyline. "I've come a long way from a little boy training to take over a dojo. So much has changed in those 30 years since I last used my birth name, Ranma Saotome."  
  
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To be continued  
  
Notage:-  
  
I am warning you all in advance:- this is going to be an AU/divergence/crossover type thingy, starting with when Ucchan met Ranchan. Many things will be different, like Ranma's primary focus in life, why he does what he does. Y'know, that sort of thing  
  
Go on, let me know what you think via email. You know you want to.  
  
(lordraa) (digitalpimp) (.co.uk)  
  
Or leave a review. 


	2. Introductions

Chapter 1  
  
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Captain Ranma Yotsuga was sitting at his desk pondering how he should go about the book deal if at all. 'Do I want to let the public see my past, good and bad? Do I sugar coat it? What if I don't, will I get more 'fan-mail'? "God why does my life have to be so difficult?"  
  
"I'm sorry captain, what was that?" Captain Honda asked, Ranma not being prone to outbursts.  
  
"Oh, it's just this book thing. How much detail should I go into, and what are the consequences of having my life laid bare for the masses." Sighing, he turned to look Shoji Honda in the eye, "Do you know exactly when I become a celebrity?"  
  
Honda chuckled, "probably when you saved some poor girl with your shirt off in front of the press."  
  
"But why me?"  
  
Mei walked up to them. "Excuse me captains, but Miss Megumi Kawamitsu is here to see you captain Yotsuga. Shall I send her in?"  
  
"Yes, thank you."  
  
"Oh and captain, the reason for celebrity is because you're a brave and handsome man." Mei giggled at Ranma's blush.  
  
"Get out, before you're on toilet duty, Hayashi!" Ranma fumed.  
  
"Hello captain. Sorry, but I overheard that last exchange."  
  
Ranma groaned, "ok then, care to toss your opinion in?"  
  
"Well, she is right you know, about being brave and handsome, but there is something about you that makes a woman feel warm inside when you smile at them."  
  
"Captain Yotsuga? I'll leave you to your seduction of this young lady, just try not to make too much of a mess when she ravishes you on the desk." Honda spoke with a wink, knowing full well that Ranma's ability for attracting the ladies was something he considered a curse. Rushing quickly to avoid anything that might be heading his way, he left the two alone.  
  
Ranma growled. "Ever since I was a child I seemed to attract female attention, some of it was not always welcome." he shuddered at a set of memories. "Anyway, Miss Kawamitsu, when do we start?"  
  
"Today, if you like. And as your assistant, you can call me Megumi."  
  
"So you are my helper. Ready to go meet the troops?"  
  
Megumi nodded.  
  
Walking down to the break room, he gathered all of second section for his announcement.  
  
"Now ladies and gentlemen, I would like tell you all something. Apparently I'm some kind of celebrity, and the higher ups want to capitalise on that good publicity."  
  
"Captain. Celebrity. Now that's just crazy talk." Kou Tezuka, lead pilot for second section, had flair for the sarcastic.  
  
"ANYway, I want you to know that people want to know all about me. They want to serialise my life story in some magazine, and then in a book. In order to get me some time to work on it, they have given me an assistant. This is her, Megumi Kawamitsu. She'll be helping me with my paperwork." Ranma stepped aside.  
  
"Hello everybody, please call me Megumi. I will assisting captain Yotsuga with both his police work and autobiography." She bowed to the audience.  
  
"Right, I need to introduce everybody. That one with the smart mouth is Kou Tezuka, pilot for unit 1. His back up is Maaya Yamamoto, that's her with the long brown hair. The sleepy looking one is their carrier driver, Toshiro Tomino. Don't worry about him, he's just not caffeinated at the moment." Pointing at the slightly weasel-like man in glasses, "that's the carrier driver for unit 2, Kosuke Miura. The guy with the blonde dye-job is unit 2's command car driver, Ken Uraki. And you've met unit 2's pilot, Mei Hayashi."  
  
"Nice to meet all of you, " Megumi bowed again.  
  
"Now that you've been introduced, I'll leave to get better acquainted whilst I attend to some personal business. Try not to scare her off, folks."  
  
"Yes sir!"  
  
Megumi turned to the police officers, "So what do you think of the captain?"  
  
"He knows his stuff."  
  
"The captain's a great guy, he's been in the trenches, y'know?"  
  
"You do know that if you hurt him, we are trained in the use of firearms?"  
  
"Zzzzzz"  
  
The crowd turned and shouted "Toto-chan!"  
  
"Wha? Emergency? Wait, why are you all standing there if there's an emergency?"  
  
"There's no emergency, Toto-chan," Ken scowled. "It's just that Megumi here asked us about the captain."  
  
"Oh, sorry. He's a great guy. A bit secretive about certain things. Rumours abound, but most of them contradict each other. I think that's his plan, like his mentor; Goto."  
  
"Oh yes, I know about captain Goto. Quite the thorn in the side of criminals, from all accounts." Megumi mused, then the penny dropped. "What did you mean that you're trained in the use of firearms, Maaya?"  
  
"Heh heh. Well it's that we all owe the captain big time, we're not just talking saving our skins in the line of duty. We're also quite fond of him, we get the feeling that he's been through a lot."  
  
"He does have a certain sadness in his eyes, doesn't he?"  
  
"Yes." The women present sighed, thinking about Ranma's incredibly blue eyes, and feeling the bitter pang of disappointment when the realised that they couldn't be with him.  
  
"Looks like we'll have to tease the captain about the latest addition to his fan club." Kou whispered to Kosuke.   
  
"Leave me out of this one, the captain might just decide to be vindictive about it this time," Kosuke was the cautious type.  
  
"You always seem to be saying that lately, what's up?"  
  
"Well, the man can only take so much, plus he's got the added stress of that book. Who knows what memories that's going to bring up? No, it's best if we leave him alone this time."  
  
"Yeah," Ken chimed in, "besides, Maaya's got the weapons locker keys on her."  
  
That brought them to the attention of the women.  
  
"Nothing going on here, I'm just off to see Shige. Heh, heh." Kou practically ran out of the door.  
  
Megumi turned to Mei, "who's this Shige?"  
  
"Oh, he's the head of the maintenance division here. He's skilled, a bit nerdy maybe, but what do you expect from an engineer?"  
  
"Oh. How long has he been here?"  
  
"He predates the captain, he was working under captain Goto on the Babylon Project incident."  
  
"So why did you join up with special vehicles, Mei?"  
  
"The same reason anybody would choose to be a labor operator - paid to pilot giant robots. Special vehicles was hiring when I needed a job, so I applied. The captain saw the score on my simulator tests and put me on the short list. It was a close call, I almost didn't make the cut. I wasn't focused properly."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"I'd rather not say. But the captain helped me out." Mei blushed at the memory of trying to hug and kiss the captain in front of everybody.  
  
There was a knock at the door, Ranma stuck his head in, "Megumi, are you ready to start on the book. The rest of you stay here, if you want the story, you'll have to buy the book. Don't worry, I'll autograph it for you."  
  
"But captain, I thought that you didn't want to do the book."  
  
"I still have some reservations about it, but I do want that sweet, sweet cash. Megumi, how much is my advance again?"  
  
"Err, somewhere in the region of a million and a half yen, I think."  
  
"Ah, captain, that explains much. How about buying a round of drinks?"  
  
"Maybe later. Now back to work people."  
  
"Yes captain."  
  
*******************************  
  
Once they were seated in the captain's office, Megumi got out her dictation recorder.  
  
"Shall we start from the beginning, captain Yotsuga?"  
  
"I suppose that's as good a place as any. My story begins when I was but a child, knee-high to a grasshopper. Back when I still went by my birth name: Ranma Saotome."  
  
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To be continued  
  
I figured that would be a good place to end the chapter, the next one should be longer as I write up my notes from Ranma's childhood.  
  
Let me know what you think.  
  
Who's who in second section?:-  
  
Kou Tezuka - lead pilot for the new special vehicles  
  
Mei Hayashi - second pilot second section   
  
Ken Uraki - command car back up for Mei  
  
Maaya Yamamoto - command car back up for Kou  
  
Toshiro Tomino - carrier pilot for Mei  
  
Kosuke Miura - carrier pilot for Kou 


	3. When Ranchan met Ucchan

Chapter 2  
  
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"My story begins when I was just a child, when I still respected my father. I was around six at the time."  
  
Back, back through the mists of time.  
  
"So boy, which do you like better; okonomiyaki or Ucchan?"  
  
"Umm, okonomiyaki is yummy, but Ucchan can make more of it, so Ucchan."  
  
'Damn, this puts a crimp on the plan to unite the schools.' "Okay son, Ukyo will be coming with us on our trip." 'I can always dump her later,' he thought deviously.  
  
"Yay, Ucchan is coming with us. I can play with Ucchan every day!" Ranma completely misunderstanding the agreement.  
  
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The next day, Ranma made a discovery that would change his life forever. Ucchan was a girl.   
  
A girl, the very same thing that his father called him when he needed to him angry. His best friend was a girl, his world was being turned upside down.  
  
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A few days later, Genma had left Ukyo behind to mind the camp whilst he trained Ranma. He was felt that Ranma had been slacking off in the previous two days.  
  
'This should get the boy back on track with his training. An ultimate technique, hey even the training is easy.' "Ranma, get here, it's time for you to learn a new technique!"  
  
"Really, poppa? What do I gotta do?" Ranma's eyes lit up.  
  
"Just follow me." Genma lead his son to the pit in the abandoned lot. "I need to tie you up first."  
  
Ranma just stood there as his father wrapped him in fish sausages, wondering just what his father had planned.  
  
Then it happened, he was picked up and thrown into the pit.  
  
"Waaah!"  
  
"It's for the sake of the art, boy. Now learn the technique!"  
  
*******************************  
  
Later, Genma pulled his son out of the pit, he was disappointed he hadn't learned the Cat fist, but there was always tomorrow. Right now, it was time for some sake with his food.  
  
"What happened to you Ranchan?" Ukyo asked when they had been left alone.  
  
"It's some new thing pops wanted me to learn, cos I gotta be a martial artist." Ranma tried to put on a brave face, but she could easily see he was troubled.  
  
"So that's how you got all those scratches and cut and bits?"  
  
"Yeah, I don't want to do again. I'm, I'm not sure I want be a martial artist any more.." Ranma was on the verge of tears.  
  
Ucchan hugged her fiancé. "Don't worry Ranchan, I'll make sure that you don't have do that thing again."  
  
"Thanks, Ucchan, you're the best friend I could ever want."  
  
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The next morning, Ranma was dragged off to the pit once Genma had gotten some sardines for the training. Ukyo had suspected that Genma would try something like this, hoping that she had enough time to put her plan into action.  
  
"OI!! What do you think you're doing?"  
  
'Crap!' Genma dropped the bundle on the ground and ran off into the distance once he recognised the two men as police officers. 'Heh, the master's training still proves useful.'  
  
"I'll check the bundle, you run after him!"  
  
The taller of the two men ran after Genma, whilst the shorter, older one rushed to the bundled up child. 'Christ, it's a kid,' he thought as he freed Ranma.   
  
"What's your name?" 'Are those animals in that pit?'  
  
Through the sobs, the policeman made out the name, "Ranma."  
  
"Don't worry son, I'll get us some help. Dispatch, this officer Ishikawa, I need an ambulance at the abandoned lot on Hachi-dori. Call child services too, I think we have a case for them."  
  
"Roger that Ishikawa."  
  
Ukyo walked up to the pair, "what's up with Ranchan, mister?"  
  
"It seems that your friend had a problem with a man. He was tied up with these sardines strapped to his body, I don't know why though."  
  
"What did the man look like?" Ukyo had a good idea.  
  
"It, it was poppa, Ucchan." Ranma started to cry. "Why? Doesn't poppa like me any more?"  
  
Ishikawa was stunned that someone would do this to their child. "Do you know this boy and his father, miss?"  
  
"Yeah, my dad engaged me to Ranchan."  
  
"Engaged? You mean an arranged marriage?"  
  
Ukyo nodded, "uh-huh."  
  
The ambulance's arrival coincided with the return of Yamazaki. "He just disappeared. I don't know how he did it, but we should get these kids out of here."  
  
Climbing into the ambulance, the policemen started to ask Ranma and Ukyo's questions.   
  
"I'm Ukyo Kuonji. He's my fiancé, Ranma Saotome."  
  
"Fiancé?"  
  
"Yeah, it's an arranged marriage, Yamazaki. We should get in contact with Ukyo's father and Ranma's mother."  
  
"Do you know your mom's name, Ranma?"  
  
"No, but I'm from Tokyo. I wanna see mom again."  
  
"Don't worry Ranchan, you will see you mom again. My dad's in the area, check the okonomiyaki restaurants."  
  
"Thank you, Ukyo. Why were you out here?"  
  
"I'm supposed to be trainin' to be the best martial artist in the world. But pops was sayin' that I gotta go back in the pit, or he'd buy me a dress 'cos I won't be a real man."  
  
"What? Ranchan, if being the best martial artist means that you gotta do things like that, then maybe you should do something else."  
  
"She's right, Ranma. Perhaps you could do something else." Yamazaki added.  
  
"Yeah, but what else can I do?"  
  
"Anything you want, Ranchan. Anything you want." Ucchan comforted her friend.  
  
When they all reached the hospital, Ishikawa went off to start the search for Ranma's mother. A doctor talked to Yamazaki whilst a nurse bathed Ranma and Ukyo.  
  
"I tell you this, it's lucky that you got him when you did, if he was thrown into that pit, he would have been traumatised for life. Right now if you can put him in a loving, nurturing environment, then he has a good chance to heal. I'm telling you now for the sake of both the children - do what you can to keep them out of the boy's father's hands."  
  
"I have to agree with you on that one. " Yamazaki was developing a hatred for Genma Saotome. "I got a look at the 'training manual' that was at the crime scene, I doubt he even read the whole thing! It even says the damn technique will cause irreversible psychological harm to the subject."  
  
"Can you spare some armed guards for the time being? I think he may try to hurt the boy, maybe even the two of them."  
  
"We're here until 8pm, when the next three come on. He was a slippery bastard when I chased after him, so I figured that he'd try something at night."  
  
"You do me proud as you partner, Yamazaki. Good news, the boy's mother is alive and coming to visit us tomorrow. No sign of the girl's father, though." Ishikawa was a little concerned.   
  
"Anyway, I have other patients to see to, if you'll excuse me," the doctor made his way to pick up the next chart.  
  
"Do you want to give him the good news?"  
  
"Yeah, that kid has deserves some happiness. Hey, Ishikawa, if you couldn't track either of the parents, what would you have done?"  
  
"Whatever it took to keep that brute from them."  
  
*******************************  
  
Inside, Ranma and Ukyo had finished their bath. "Ucchan, I'm sorry that being my friend has taken you from your pop. I never wanted to hurt you." Ranma's voice was sad.  
  
"Ranchan, do you promise to watch out for me, if I watch out for you?"  
  
"Yeah, Ucchan, we'll be friends forever!"  
  
"Hey you two, I've got some good news for. We've found Ranma's mom, she's coming to visit you tomorrow." Yamazaki announced.  
  
"My mom, she's coming here?"  
  
"Yes," Ishikawa confirmed, 'though she didn't seem _that_ worried about you.'  
  
"Ranchan, will your mom look after us?"  
  
"I hope so, Ucchan."  
  
The nurse decided that it was nap time for the children and ushered the policemen out of the room.  
  
For Ranma, sleep came easier than it had in long time.   
  
*******************************  
  
The next day, Ranma was a bundle of nervous energy. Not even the complaints from Ucchan could calm him down completely.  
  
Nodoka Saotome walked into the police station, hoping that nothing too bad had happened to her son. 'The policeman was a bit vague, I do hope nothing terrible has happened to them.'  
  
"Hello, I'm Nodoka Saotome, I believe that I am expected."  
  
"Ah, yes, officer Ishikawa would like to speak with you about your son."  
  
*******************************  
  
After being lead to the interview room, Nodoka was offered a cup of tea by Ishikawa.   
  
"I have some news regarding your son, Ranma."  
  
"What's wrong? Ranma was supposed to be on a training trip so he could be a worthy heir to the family school of martial arts. My husband, Genma, guaranteed it. He staked his life on it, look." Nodoka pulled out the seppuku contract.  
  
'Is she for real?' "Do you really expect your son to cut open his belly if you think he's not manly?"  
  
"No, that was just to keep Genma from doing anything too foolish."  
  
"What about engaging your child?"  
  
Nodoka's eyes widened.  
  
"I never approved an arranged marriage for my son. It would be an insult to his manliness, it would say he couldn't get a girl on his own." Nodoka was having second thoughts about the training trip.  
  
'She's got some weird notions about manliness, but her heart's in the right place.' "There's more, the girl he's 'engaged' to told us that something bad was going to happen to your son yesterday. I investigated the claim and saw your husband preparing to throw your son into a pit of starving animals. The doctor said if he had succeeded, Ranma would be permanently psychologically scarred. He could have become scared of cats or even lost his mind!" Ishikawa turned away, taking a breath, he figured what buttons to push. "Being scared of domesticated animals is not what I would call manly."  
  
"You're right, where's my son and his 'fiancée'?" Nodoka's temper started to boil.  
  
"They're at the hospital right now, under guard in case your husband tries something."  
  
"Please don't refer to Genma as my husband. One would expect hardships in martial arts training, but this is madness. I may need to visit my lawyer about a divorce."   
  
'That's good, she's not completely insane.' "Oh, one other thing. If your family school of martial arts involves some of the crimes we suspect Genma of, then maybe you and Ranma should rethink the importance of martial arts in his life."  
  
"Yes, it was his father's idea that he study Anything Goes. I was a kendo student myself, I think that Ranma would do well at it."  
  
"Wait, Anything Goes?"  
  
"Yes, why?" 'Why am I getting a feeling of dread?'  
  
"I've heard bad things about it's founder, a pervert and a thief."  
  
"Unfortunately, you're right in both counts. However, the sooner we get Ranma out of his father's clutches, the sooner we can get to raising him to good man."  
  
"On that I agree with you, Mrs Saotome."  
  
At the hospital, Genma was sneaking around. He planned to steal back the boy and make off into the night. Day. Whatever. He was about to go into the children's ward when he saw a familiar looking person. 'Feck, it's the wife.' (1)  
  
Nodoka saw her husband out of the corner of her eye. 'I had better stay close to Ranma.'  
  
She knocked on the door to Ranma's room, hoping that Ranma hadn't been maimed by the fool she called 'husband'.  
  
Upon the opening of the door, Ranma looked scared as if he was expecting an ogre or demon to steal him away. Then he remembered who he was looking at.  
  
"Momma?"  
  
"Ranma, it is you. Oh, I'm so glad that you're alright. I was worried that something bad had happened to you." Nodoka started to fuss over her son. "I'm so sorry son, don't worry I won't let him hurt you any more."  
  
"Mom, I want you to meet my bestest friend in the whole wide world - Ucchan."  
  
Ukyo bowed to Nodoka.  
  
"So this is the girl that told the police?" Setting Ranma down, she appraised the girl. 'A bit of a tomboy, but cute. "Thank you for saving my son." Nodoka bowed her head.  
  
"You're welcome, Mrs Saotome."   
  
"Please, call me auntie Nodoka. I hear you're engaged to my son."  
  
"What does that mean, mom?"  
  
"That means one day you're going to be married. Ucchan, do have you a place to stay?"  
  
"Well I was supposed to go with Ranchan and his dad, but when I saw the cuts and scratches, I got scared."  
  
"I would like to talk with your father about this engagement thing. But for now, I want you to think of Ranma as your brother."  
  
"You mean I can play with Ucchan every day?"  
  
"Yes, Ranma. Ucchan is going to be living with us."  
  
"Yay!" Ranma danced a little jig with Ucchan.  
  
*******************************  
  
"You're thinking that my life was improving, right? Well, the gods seem to enjoy playing with us. Because, just then, Ucchan's dad was admitted to the hospital. He'd had a heart attack."  
  
*******************************  
  
Back in the past  
  
"WHAT? You've found the girl's father?"  
  
"Yeah, he's in the emergency room. I hope they can save him, I want to talk with him."  
  
A nurse knocked on the door, walking up to Nodoka she whispered the news to her.  
  
"Ucchan, I have some bad news. They found your father. But he's not well. They brought him here to the hospital."  
  
"What, dad's not well?" As Ukyo started to cry, Ranma went to comfort his best friend.  
  
"Don't worry, Ucchan. I promise that no matter what, I'm going to look out for you.  
  
"Thanks Ranchan."  
  
Nodoka sat down at the table, "well, then Ranma, Ucchan. Why don't you show me your writing skills. I would like to see how quickly you can write out every hiragana and katakana."   
  
"Ok, mom."  
  
"Sure, Auntie Nodoka."  
  
After a few minutes of writing both of the children finished their work. Ukyo's being much neater than that of Ranma.   
  
"Well done, you two. I'm going to show you some kanji and I want you to tell me what they mean. Then I want you to write them for me."   
  
"More writing?" Ranma moaned.  
  
Ukyo giggled, "Ranchan never did like doing things like this."  
  
"I can tell. Well if Ranma wanted to be a martial artist, then I suppose that he would focus on things other than reading and writing."  
  
"I don't want to be a martial artist any more, mom."  
  
"Oh, and just what do you want to do?"  
  
Ranma thought for a moment, furrowing his brow. You could almost hear the light bulb being switched on in his head. "I wanna be a giant robot pilot." He announced grandly.  
  
"But son, there aren't any giant robots for you to pilot."  
  
Ranma started to look depressed. Ukyo had an idea.  
  
"Maybe you could make one to pilot?"  
  
"Yeah, that just might work, Ucchan. See mom, she's the bestest friend I could ever want."  
  
Just then a nurse came into the room. "Excuse me, but I have some bad news."  
  
"How's my dad?"  
  
"I'm sorry, but your father has just passed away."  
  
Nodoka thanked the nurse and turned to the children.  
  
Ucchan had started to cry. Ranma looked sad, he had liked Ukyo's father. Nodoka sighed. After leaving a note on the table, she gathered the children in a group hug.  
  
"We're going home to Tokyo in a few days. Ucchan do you have any other family?"  
  
"N-n-no, auntie Nodoka."  
  
"Ukyo, I want to adopt you as my daughter. Would you like that?"  
  
"You mean that you'd be my mom?"  
  
"Yes, but there is one catch with that."  
  
"What's that mom?" Ranma was curious.  
  
"You two cannot get married if you are brother and sister."  
  
"Ok, I promise that as Ucchan's brother to look out for her for always."  
  
"Hey Ranchan, as your sister I'd get to tease you."  
  
Ranma growled, then a thought occurred to him "but I get to tease you back as your brother."  
  
"Now, now children. I don't want you two fighting."  
  
"Sorry, mom."  
  
"That's better. Now what kind of food do you like?"  
  
"Anything tasty, mom."  
  
"Ranchan will eat almost anything, auntie Nodoka. I'm training to be an okonomiyaki chef."  
  
"I thought that might be the case. I do like good okonomiyaki. Maybe this will work out nicely. My manly son, studying to be a giant robot engineer, with my daughter cooking the finest okonomiyaki in he district."  
  
"Hey, I wanna be a pilot not an engineer, mom," Ranma was upset that his mother didn't seem to take his new dream seriously.  
  
"You have to build one to pilot first, son. Besides, once you know how they work, you can fix it when it breaks."  
  
"Oh, yeah. I didn't think of that. Will I need to study at school?"  
  
"Yes you will son."   
  
Ranma groaned.  
  
"And I want you to take up kendo. Keep up your unarmed practice, but I want you to focus on swords."  
  
"Oh yeah, for when I'm in my robot." Ranma started to drift off into a fantasy where swung a Gundam-like beam sabre as a sword of justice.  
  
Nodoka shook her head. Turning to Ukyo, she asked, "what brought all this on?"  
  
"We watched some anime earlier, and the nice policemen suggested that Ranchan do something else."  
  
"I see."  
  
"But Ranchan sometimes gets a bit silly. You really mean that Ranchan could my brother?"  
  
"Yes, if that's what you want. You'll be around him all the time, good or bad."  
  
"Yes, mom. That would be nice," Ucchan spoke as she curled up into a ball and slept.  
  
Nodoka went to the table, re-read her note and tore it up. 'Time to put a stop to Genma's crazy ideas.' She started a new note and plan. One that would offer Genma a face saving way out and the children a chance to live in peace.  
  
*******************************  
  
To be continued.  
  
(1) Yes, that was Father Ted reference. If you've never seen it, then you are missing out on what was possibly the funniest sitcom about priests. 


	4. The injustice of having to work at work

Chapter 3  
  
*******************************  
  
Megumi made sure her notes were clear. "So you decided to be a giant robot pilot?"  
  
"I vowed that I'd be one even if I had to build it myself," Ranma's tone and posture was one of defiance to the nay-sayers.  
  
Megumi giggled, "When you pose like that, captain you look so heroic."  
  
"Bah!" Ranma snorted in disgust.  
  
"What happened next?" Megumi quickly composed herself.  
  
"My mom divorced my dad and adopted Ucchan. That was a mixed blessing, the divorce. I lost out on the chance to be one of the best martial artists in the world. But I wouldn't be the nice guy that I am today, I'd probably be some obnoxious jerk who had trouble expressing his feelings and generally being sub-par to anything other then fighting."  
  
"Hmm, an even better body?" Megumi started to drift off into the realm of naughty thoughts again.  
  
"Hey! Stop that!" Ranma could see the look in her eyes. "I'm not a piece of meat damn it!"  
  
"Sorry, captain. What about your schooling?"  
  
"Until junior high, not much. I gave serious study time to maths and science, I learnt a bit of English. Studied kendo with my mom, cooking with her and Ucchan."  
  
"What happened at junior high?" 'This could be good.'  
  
"Some important events happened."  
  
"Like what ?"  
  
"The labor revolution. My giant robots had arrived. And (thegirlstartedtoschaseafterme)." Ranma mumbled the last part.  
  
"I'm sorry captain, I didn't quite catch that last bit."  
  
"That's when the girls started to chase after me," Ranma hung his head in defeat.  
  
Megumi laughed.  
  
"If you think that's funny, wait until you hear this little tale. I had been convinced to go on this date."  
  
"What? So you do date?" 'Maybe I can interview some of his old girlfriends.'  
  
"A lot less than I used to. I had been bullied into it by both Ucchan and my mom. Ucchan was upset with me, for good reason, so she dropped the bombshell that the girls were interested in me to my mom as revenge. Anyway, the girl in question was nice enough, she was pretty and polite. But when I was on my first date, not just with her, but this was the first time I'd ever been on a date. I was just getting over my nervousness when her sister showed up..."  
  
*******************************  
  
Back to when Ranma was a young man and was living under the same roof as Ucchan.  
  
"So Ranma, how are your preparations for the kendo tournament coming along?" Yumi asked, trying to get the small talk going.   
  
"Quite well, I guess. I really would like to spend the time looking at the labor pilot test."   
  
"Oh, don't you like being captain of the kendo club?"  
  
"It's not that. I like the responsibility, and the exercise I get from participating. It keeps me in good shape. But it does mean that I can't spend as much time on my studies now." Ranma looked a bit sad.  
  
"Why do they mean so much to you, Ranma?"  
  
"I promised my mom and Ucchan that I'd be a giant robot pilot, even if I had to build myself. And I always keep my promises."  
  
"Hey there, sis!" a voice called out to the pair at the table.  
  
"It's my sister, Yoko," 'She's right on time.'   
  
"Are you going to introduce me to your date, Yumi?"  
  
"Ranma, this is my sister, Yoko. Yoko this is Ranma.  
  
"Hi," Ranma did a double take. "Let guess, twin sister, right?"  
  
"Yep. Hey, I remember you, you're captain of the kendo club".   
  
"Yes, that's me. Are you going to cheer on my team?"  
  
"Oh yes, we'll both be there to cheer you on."  
  
"That's nice to hear," Ranma missed the slip, not being as aware as would become legend.  
  
Yumi looked at Yoko, she nodded.  
  
"Do you think that it's important to share, Ranma?" Yoko asked as she sat next to him.  
  
"Yeah, I do. Why?"  
  
"Well, we have a theory that some things are best shared," Yoko started to stroke Ranma's arm.  
  
"L-like what?" Ranma gulped. 'What's with all these girls? Why are they looking at me like that?'  
  
"Oh certain things," Yumi moved next to her date, trapping him.  
  
"R-really. What was that you wanted to share?" 'Why do I have a bed feeling about this?'  
  
"Oh, just ......"   
  
A telephone started ringing.  
  
*******************************  
  
Back to the present, now in progress.  
  
"Special vehicles, Second section. Captain Yotsuga here."  
  
"Ok, Honda, we'll get going."  
  
Ranma hit a few buttons on the phone to alert his unit.  
  
"What was that?"  
  
"That's just the alarm for us to scramble. We're going out on a mission. Sorry about this." Ranma smiled, 'saved by the bell.'  
  
"But the story...." Megumi trailed off.  
  
"I'll have to fill you in another time."  
  
"Injustice!" Came a shout from behind the door,  
  
"Shh! You idiot, now he knows we were listening in." Maaya had a throbbing vein in her forehead.   
  
Ranma walked over to the door. "Yes, I'm sure that you can taste that injustice. Why aren't you getting ready to leave?"  
  
"Heh heh. Err, sorry captain. we're just getting ready to go now." Maaya dragged Kou away to the vehicles.  
  
"What's the emergency?" Kou asked making his to the carrier.  
  
"Section one called us in to help out a ship. They spotted it when they were dealing with a couple of rogue labors. Tell Hayashi, Uraki and Tomino to mind the fort whilst we go help out."  
  
"Yes sir." Maaya saluted and ran off to tell the others.  
  
*******************************  
  
To be continued.  
  
Another chapter done, though a tad short. Sorry about that.  
  
Next time on Super Giant Robot Carnival - stuff happens. Possibly some of the following:-  
  
More of the captain's past is revealed?   
  
Just what was in Nodoka's divorce terms?   
  
What happened to Ucchan?   
  
What to make of the Tendo's?   
  
Ranma showing respect to Kuno?  
  
Just what would have happened with those twin sisters?  
  
Go on, let me know what y'all think of the story.  
  
Until the next time you folks stumble across here, laterer. 


	5. The beginning of the end of innocence

Chapter 4  
  
*******************************  
  
Captain Yotsuga was taking a leisurely drive back to the base. He was getting tired of answering questions about his past. On the way out he was beginning to get a headache.  
  
'Those people really should know when to quit.'  
  
Ranma's eye caught a sports headline - Kanto regional kendo results. 'Kendo championships? I wonder how well I'd have done if I stuck with it.'  
  
Arriving back at the base, Shige greeted the captain who saw the smirk on his face, 'uh-oh when Yotsuga's got that look on his face someone's in trouble.' "Captain, you didn't damage my labor too much did you?"  
  
"Oh, no Shige, I think all they need is a good wash down. It might be worth checking the water-tight seals on all the labors."  
  
"Thanks for taking care of them. I know some of the pilots get a bit reckless. I take it you know about one Isao Ohta?"  
  
"Trigger-happy Ohta? Oh yes, Goto told me about him. I get the feeling he'd have made a great combat pilot." Ranma was grateful none of his pilots felt the need to charge in with guns blazing ALL of the time.  
  
"That's good captain. Now what's with that smirk I saw on your face?"  
  
"Well, y'know that book the brass want me to write?"  
  
Shige nodded.  
  
"It seems that the public want my life story as well as my exploits as a cop. My section wants to know as well, in fact I caught two listening in earlier."  
  
"Well Captain, I guess there's good coming out of it. They care about you enough to want to know the whole story about their boss, not like these guys here."   
  
Ranma nodded. "Well, I suppose that's good for you too. They're not hassling their boss about if he's dating, and if not why not. And how they know someone who'd be perfect for him."  
  
"I take it's happened far too often for your liking. At least they're not trying to date you again."  
  
"I'm grateful for small mercies, Shige, I'll see you around. Don't work too hard."  
  
Shige smiled at one of the captain's favourite partings, "see you Captain."  
  
*******************************  
  
Upstairs, Second Section were talking about one of their favourite topics: Ranma.  
  
"What did you find out?" Ken asked.  
  
"Apparently the Captain's first date was with two girls. Sisters in fact." Kou mentioned with some envy. "Two older women when he was in Junior high. That man's a legend."  
  
"There's something missing though, I mean look how shy he is with women. I don't think he took advantage of them like any of you guys would." Maaya spoke thoughtfully.  
  
"You're right, Maaya."   
  
Everyone in the room turned to the voice.  
  
"Err, hi there Captain. Did the mission go ok?" Mei spoke up. She was one of the quicker witted members of his team.  
  
"Yes it did. Now since I am a hot topic at the moment, I have a proposition for you all. If you _all_ have your paperwork done, then I shall let you sit in on the next note taking session."  
  
"You will Captain?" Ken asked. Serving in Ranma's unit the longest had allowed him to gain some insight into the way he thought. 'What's he plotting?'  
  
"Yes. Now I believe that some of you have work to do. I'll be in my office." He turned to face his subordinates before he left them, "by the way, that date started to go pear shaped soon after Yoko showed up. Dating has never gone well for me."  
  
*******************************  
  
A few minutes later, Megumi knocked on the door.  
  
"Come in."  
  
"Captain, I was wondering about something."  
  
"Yes?" Ranma's tone was one of indifference.  
  
"Has your luck on dates really been that bad?"  
  
"Yes." Ranma replied without looking up from his desk. "What? Did you think that I'm some kind of love machine?" He asked with a smirk.  
  
"Well, yes." Megumi answered in a small voice.  
  
Ranma looked up, and blinked. "You seem to have the wrong idea about me. Allow me to put you straight: I never put out on the first date. I may be attractive to women for some reason, but I am no womaniser."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Why don't I sleep around like some playboy?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
There was an uncomfortable silence. It stretched out for five minutes.   
  
"Well, Captain?"  
  
There was a silhouette by the door to the office.  
  
Ranma sighed, "I'm not going to get any peace until the reason's for my being alone are given am I?" Megumi shook her head. "Tell them to meet us in the briefing room in five minutes. Ask Tomino to break out the choccy bickies he's got stashed, or who knows what details I might forget."  
  
"Yes Captain." Megumi rushed to tell the others and prepare her equipment.  
  
*******************************  
  
"What? The Captain's going to tell us about his sordid past?" Ken asked.  
  
"Cool," Mei added, "I wonder what we can find out about Ucchan."  
  
"What? The Captain knows about my biscuit stash?"  
  
"Toto-chan, what are you talking about?"  
  
Maaya advanced on Toshiro, "what does the Captain mean by choccy bickies? You wouldn't be trying to hide chocolate from us, would you?"  
  
"I have some relatives living abroad and they send me certain goodies. My aunt Erika sends me biscuits and other western snack food. In the last shipment I got some nice chocolate ones." Toshiro backed off from the suddenly crazy looking woman.  
  
Mei moved in a classic pincer action to trap the hapless carrier driver, "I'm shocked, Toto-chan. I thought you liked us, but now I find you've been hiding chocolate biscuits from us, nice ones at that."  
  
"Oi, leave the poor man alone." Ranma came out of his office. "I'm sorry about that Tomino."  
  
"But Captain, chocolate. he was keeping it from us..." Maaya's voice trailed off under the glare she was getting from her commanding officer.  
  
"I fail to see your so-called point. Do I force any of you to share your goodies with me?"  
  
"I wish, Captain. You'd like what I have to offer." Mei looked around the room with a sinking feeling. "I just said that out loud, didn't I?"   
  
"Yes, you did." Ranma started to massage his temples. 'She still has a crush on me.' "Captain Goto never had this problem. I will state this once again for the record: I am not going to date any of my subordinates or colleagues in the police force. Do you understand me?"  
  
"Yes, Captain." Mei was blushing bright red. 'God, I'm gonna be hearing about this for some time.'   
  
"Good, I'm glad that I have made my point without having to go into teacher mode. Now, why aren't you all in the briefing room waiting with baited breath?"  
  
The room emptied very quickly except for Toshiro who saw the gesture from Ranma to stay behind for a word.  
  
"Tomino, it was not my intention to put you in that situation. I'm sorry." Ranma bowed to Toshiro.  
  
"That's ok, Captain. I should have realised that you would've known about the stash."  
  
"That's part of my job, knowing what goes on here. Now, I believe that your girlfriend wanted to take a trip with you to Hokkaido some time next month?"  
  
"Y-yes Captain." 'He's good.'  
  
"Well, we've been invited to the snow festival. I think your skills are need there. I'm afraid she'll have to find her own accommodation, but she's quite welcome to travel with us."  
  
"Thank you Captain."  
  
"Don't mention it. Now where are those biscuits?"  
  
*******************************  
  
In the briefing room the audience were getting restless.  
  
"I knew it was too good to be true."  
  
"Ken, you're a right cynic, you know that?" Kou was still relatively idealistic and just thought that Ranma was a bit of a joker.  
  
"You don't know the Captain like I do. He's a sharp guy, maybe too sharp. But I still get the feeling he's toying with us all."  
  
"That's silly, Ken." Mei jumped to the defence of her captain.  
  
"Ken, what evidence do you have to support that theory?" Maaya didn't subscribe to Ken's conspiracy theories.  
  
"Well, I don't have any hard evidence as yet, but...." Ken trailed off as Ranma and Toshiro entered the room.  
  
"Yes Ken, whatever could you mean?" Ranma had a knack for being in the right place at the right time. "It's not like I'm a political mastermind, or anything."  
  
Sitting down, he made himself comfortable. "Right, pay attention, there will be a test later. You all know that I am currently single and that I have never married. For some reason, you all want to know why. Well it all started back in when I was in junior high...."  
  
*******************************  
  
Back in the day:  
  
Ranma was waiting for Ukyo to finish her home ec. class, when he was accosted by his home room teacher.  
  
"There you are, Ranma-kun. I've been looking for you." Kei Yamada was an attractive young teacher in her early 20's. With curly, chestnut coloured hair that came down to her mid-back when she let it down. Her body was in excellent condition, well toned from yoga, and properly curved in a classic hour-glass figure.   
  
"H-hello sensei." Ranma felt nervous around his beautiful teacher. "What can I do for you?"  
  
She knew exactly the effect she had of most of her male students and colleagues and she ignored it for the most part. But something was different with Ranma. Sure, there were other attractive male students in the school that had caught her eye. Even some of the other faculty members, but there was just something about Ranma and it wasn't the taboo nature of a potential relationship between the two of them. She had seen the looks he was getting from some of the female students to confirm that fact.  
  
"I wanted to talk with you about your grades in history."  
  
"Uhm, ok." Ranma knew that history was one of his weaker subjects. "I'm meeting Ucchan for dinner right now, but I'm free after kendo practice."  
  
"That's ok for me too. I'll see you in my room - I mean our homeroom then." 'Crap, I can't believe I just said that.'  
  
Ranma almost caught the slip, but was distracted by Ukyo running up to them with some cookies she'd baked.  
  
"Here Ranchan, try one of these."  
  
Ranma didn't need telling twice when it came to Ucchan's cooking. It didn't touch the sides.  
  
"That was great, Ucchan. I don't think you can make anything taste bad."  
  
"Ranchan, you're being a suck up. If you wanted another, you should have asked." Ukyo teased her brother.   
  
'Food seems to be part of the solution to gaining the boy's trust.' Kei thought.  
  
"I'm not Ucchan. You're a great cook." Ranma was deadly serious. "It's not just flattery."  
  
"I know Ranchan, I'm just teasing you." 'He's so cute like that, no wonder all my friends want to know about him.' "Your really need to lighten up, or you'll get an ulcer."  
  
"I know, Ucchan. But it's just that I saw _Him_ yesterday. He was trying all sorts of tricks to get Mom to forgive him, you wouldn't believe the tricks he tried."  
  
"Oh Ranchan, I'm sorry. I didn't know." Ucchan hugged her brother tightly. 'That bastard. I won't let him hurt Ranchan.'  
  
"Who?" Kei asked, not being privy to all of the information about Ranma's home life.  
  
"Ranchan's biological father. Our mom divorced him years ago after what he did to Ranchan."  
  
Kei's face darkened. "Don't worry, Ranma I won't let him get to you on school grounds." 'I hope he didn't do what I think he did.' Kei Yamada's plans to seduce Ranma were shelved as her moral compass found its bearing once again.  
  
Ranma was lead outside by Ukyo. "Thanks Ucchan. I needed that."  
  
"That's ok Ranchan. I know that you're honest, but you're too honest sometimes. It'll get you in trouble some day."  
  
"You're not saying that I should start lying, are you?" Ranma was shocked by his sister's comments.  
  
"No, silly. But there are times when not saying anything is better then saying the truth."  
  
"Oh. But what about if I kept something bad I did secret?"  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Ucchan, there's something I have to tell you." Ranma was hesitant about hurting his sister's feelings.  
  
"What is it Ranchan?"  
  
"You know that secret okonomiyaki sauce you made when we were kids?"  
  
"Yes?" 'Why do I get the feeling that I'm not going like this.'  
  
"Well, Icouldn'twaittotasteitbutIspiltitandtriedtoreplaceit." Ranma blurted out.  
  
"Ranchan, could you say that again slowly?"  
  
"I couldn't wait to taste it, but I spilt the jar." Ranma looked at his feet, "and I tried to replace it but I couldn't remember how it was made."  
  
"So the secret sauce I have isn't the secret sauce I made?" Ukyo's left eyebrow was starting to twitch.  
  
"I'm so sorry Ucchan." Ranma's voice was quite like that of a scolded child.  
  
Ukyo turned to her brother, "that's ok Ranchan."  
  
"You really mean it?"  
  
"Yeah, sure. I mean we were kids back then and accidents happen all the time." 'I'll get you for this Ranchan.' "I forgive you. But you still need to be punished."  
  
"What? Why? If I hadn't told you until you opened it then what would you have done?"  
  
"Probably something very unpleasant. Now what did Yamada-sensei want with you?"  
  
"Just that she'd help me with my history grades. Why?"  
  
"Just wondering." 'God, he's still so innocent about girls. I'll have to keep an eye on him.' Turning to look her brother in the eye, Ukyo asked him, "Ranchan, you _do_ like girls don't you?"  
  
"Wh-wh-what?" Ranma spluttered  
  
"Do you like girls or boys? It's a simple question."  
  
"What brought this on?" Ranma started to panic, 'what's gotten into Ucchan?'  
  
"It's, well, the girls and mom were wondering, seeing as how you don't seem to show much interest in girls, whether or not you're gay." Ukyo had trouble phrasing her point.   
  
"What?" Ranma was stunned. "No Ucchan - I like girls. It's just that, well, I haven't found one that I think of in that way."  
  
"That's a relief, Ranchan. Mom was worried about you. Something about your manliness going to waste."  
  
"Mom's got some weird ideas about manliness. Wait a minute. You said something about the girls wondering about me?"  
  
"Sure, Ranchan. Lots of the girls like you. In fact, you'd be surprised about the things they ask me."  
  
"What do they ask you?"  
  
"I can't tell you, they promised me to secrecy." 'Best not swell his head too much.'  
  
"Oh. Have you ever regretted being my friend or mom adopting you?"  
  
"When it comes to you Ranchan, I regret nothing. Now let's go get something to eat."  
  
"You're on Ucchan."  
  
'That's a good sign,' Kei thought from the shadows. 'I was worried that he liked boys. It wouldn't do for such a fine specimen of manliness to go to waste.'  
  
*******************************  
  
Later, after finishing his kendo practice, Ranma made his way to Kei Yamada's homeroom.  
  
"Ah, right on time, Ranma-kun. Now we can begin."  
  
Ranma sat at a desk and began to look at the history mock exam he'd been given.  
  
Moving in closer to Ranma, Kei spoke softly to give her take on the events in question.  
  
It was all perfectly innocent to Ranma. Which was exactly how Kei planned it.   
  
'Slowly girl, slowly. Let's get his grades up before we get him to properly express his gratitude.' Kei smiled.  
  
"What's up, sensei?"   
  
"Nothing Ranma, I was just reminded of something trivial."  
  
*******************************  
  
And so the tutoring sessions went on for the next fortnight, Kei's subtle contact becoming more friendly and frequent.   
  
Then the midterms took place. Ranma scored in the top five of his class.  
  
When he had a free period he went to Yamada-sensei to tell her.   
  
"Thanks for the help, I couldn't have gotten the grade I did without your help." He finished with a bow.  
  
"That's quite alright, Ranma-kun. It's part of my job to help out my students when they need it."  
  
"But still, is there anything I can do to repay you?"  
  
"Now that you mention it, I could use your help with a secret project." 'It had best be kept secret, or I'll be in the shit.'  
  
"If I can. What can you tell me?" Ranma was still oblivious to his homeroom teacher's somewhat perverted nature.  
  
"Well, I don't have time to tell you about it today. I should be able to discuss it with you in a day or two."  
  
"Ok, sensei. Let me know when I can help."  
  
*******************************  
  
Ranma entered his home after kendo practice whistling a pleasant little tune. "I'm home!" He called out to his family.  
  
Nodoka called out her reply. "Ranma I'd like to have a word with you about something."   
  
"Oh? What's that?" Ranma asked, entering the sitting room.  
  
"Ukyo tells me that the girls at school have shown an interest in you."  
  
"Y-yeah, she mention something about it a couple of weeks back. What about it?"  
  
"Well son, I think it's about time that you started dating." Nodoka calmly sipped her tea.  
  
"Oh." Ranma looked down. "If you really think that I can fit it in with my studies, then I suppose that I could. But I don't know who to ask out. And what if she said no?" Ranma started to look nervous.  
  
"I don't think that would be a problem, Ranchan." Ukyo answered. Sitting down she gave her reasoning. "Lots of the girls have asked me if you're seeing anyone. When I told them no, they asked me for permission to date you as your older sister." (1)  
  
"But, why me?" Ranma was perplexed.  
  
"Because you're a handsome scholar and captain of the kendo team, son." Nodoka answered. "Our neighbours are surprised that you've not brought any girls home yet." She added looking at him sideways.  
  
"Mom!" Ranma started to get flustered.   
  
Ucchan giggled behind her hand.  
  
Ranma noticed this. "Laugh it up Ucchan, why don't you?"  
  
"Sorry Ranchan, but it does raise a valid question, why haven't you gone out with any girls from school?"  
  
"Because I'm not ready for a relationship yet." Ranma replied honestly. "Besides, some of the boys at school keep trying to peep on the girls and they're not too popular. Before you start laughing Ucchan, I caught some of them trying to steal your gym shorts."  
  
Ukyo became serious very quickly. "Which ones?"  
  
"I don't know their names, but Ucchan, I can assure you that I made them regret trying anything perverted with you or any of the other girls in school."  
  
"Ranma, I'm impressed that you defended your sister's honour like that, but I'm not suggesting that you do anything like that."  
  
Ranma visibly relaxed at that.  
  
"Just pick a nice girl and ask them out on a date to a coffee shop. We'll take it from there."  
  
"Do I have to?" Ranma's heart was not really in the argument as he had started to get those wonderful teenage hormonal urges.   
  
"How about this: if you take her on a date, I'll talk to the people at Shinohara Heavy Industries about a tour of the Hachioji plant."   
  
"Ok, mom, you twisted my arm. But I don't know many of the girls at school. Ucchan, do you have any suggestions?"   
  
Ukyo smiled. "Why yes, Ranchan. As a matter of fact, I do. She's a little bit older then you, but if you don't mind that, I can introduce you to her."   
  
Ranma suddenly had a bad feeling. "What's her name?"  
  
"Yumi Oshii. She's a cheerleader."  
  
"Isn't she a senior?"  
  
"Yes." 'It'll get her off my back about dating him.' A thought occurred to her. "How did you know that, Ranchan? You barely know any girls at school."  
  
"I know OF her because some of the lads at school talk about her. She's meant to be quite attractive. But I couldn't tell her apart from anybody else in the cheerleading squad."  
  
Ukyo turned to her mother. "She's one of the best looking people in school, mom. And she's been pestering me about a date with Ranchan for some time."  
  
"Oh, well then it's settled. Ranma you will ask this Yumi girl out on a date for Saturday, I'll see about a tour of the factory. Ukyo, you'll have to entertain yourself this weekend."   
  
"No problem, mom. I'll manage." 'I'll keep an eye on Ranchan, that should be entertaining.'  
  
"Wait a minute, Ucchan. Is she the girl that's been coming up and talking to me?"  
  
"Yes, Ranchan." Ukyo pinched the bridge of her nose. "You mean to say that you've not known the name of the girl that's been flirting with you for the past two weeks?"  
  
"Heh, heh," Ranma rubbed to back of his head, grinning sheepishly.  
  
*******************************  
  
To be continued  
  
(1) It was never made clear about the age order for Ranma's year, at least not to me, so I thought I'd take this liberty. It's not by much anyway, only a few months, but it was obvious enough that one of them is adopted.  
  
Give your opinion via review or email:   
  
(lordraa) (digitalpimp) (.co.uk) 


	6. Travel Plans

Chapter 5  
  
(Warning: this chapter contains 'limish' samples. Kinda.)  
  
********************************  
  
"That's why we need to investigate this quickly."  
  
The chief of police was looking at his visitor intently, trying to determine his 'angle'.  
  
"This is a serious matter, I understand that. But why would you want the help of my officers? Surely this is an internal matter."  
  
"I personally agree with you on that, but the higher-ups want to get some independent experts on the case. Don't worry it won't be coming out of your budget. Who will you send on this case, should you agree to help us, that is?" The foreign ambassador asked hopefully.  
  
"I will ask my best man, Yotsuga, but I can't guarantee that he will go. Tell him everything he needs to know, or it could end in tears. I'll call him here to meet with you."   
  
********************************  
  
Back when Ranma was still an innocent.  
  
It was a glorious spring day; with very little wind to take away the sought after warmth from the bright sunshine, the students were reluctant to go inside until they had to.  
  
Ranma was a little tense the next day at school. His task was to find a specific girl and ask her to out on Saturday.  
  
One of the problems was that he was too sure which girl he was supposed to be asking out. Another was that he had never done this sort of thing before, and despite not being terribly interested in girls at this point, he was still a little scared of rejection. Ucchan had told him that he had nothing to worry about there, but the nervousness wouldn't leave him.  
  
"Ranchan."  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Remember, that's her over there." Ukyo pointed at a tall girl, aged around 16. She had blonde hair that came to her shoulders. She had a grace about her that spoke of years of balance training. Her body was slim, yet well proportioned enough to attract men of all ages.  
  
Factor in her pleasant attitude and you had one of the idols of the school. And she knew it too. Many adolescent fantasies were born the moment her sister, Yoko, played a practical joke on her. It was revenge for the destruction of Yoko's relationship with her boyfriend.  
  
The revenge was a public display of Yumi's underwear.   
  
Whilst she was still in them.   
  
To understand what reaction this had on the male population, you must first understand why the Oshii sisters behaved the way they did. Yumi and Yoko had a rather unusual mother. She had very few inhibitions and strange set of moral values. She had taught her daughters that men weren't the real centres of power in the world, women were.   
  
As some say in America, she wore the pants in that house. And the form fitting PVC suit. Oh, and she carried a whip from time to time, but that's another story altogether.  
  
When the Oshii sisters started to grow into women, their mother thought that they should get used to wearing the underclothes that got men to do whatever they wanted them to. When they were a bit older, she taught them the joy of flirting.  
  
So I'm sure that you can all imagine the effect of the sight of a well toned, 16 year-old cheerleader wearing a set of rather provocative lingerie being on display on a public place.  
  
The males who had witnessed said practical joke certainly remembered it for some time after.  
  
Not that Yumi minded being on display, she was a bit of an exhibitionist. What bothered her was the fact that the pick of the litter, Ranma, had not seen what she had to offer.(1)  
  
A few weeks of increasingly blatant flirting with Ranma had yet yield anything in the way of results. She had been getting frustrated with the lack of progress with him, when Ukyo had mentioned needing to get back at Ranma. A suggestion that had not meant to be taken seriously was that Ukyo ought to bully Ranma into dating.  
  
Yumi had asked Ukyo to set them up and she had agreed on the proviso that she didn't do anything to hurt Ranma. Yumi said "ok, no S & M" with a straight face and a voice filled with sincerity.  
  
Little did Ucchan know the part she would play in the loss of her brother's innocence. It was something that she would never forgive herself for.  
  
Walking up to Yumi, Ranma swallowed nervously.   
  
"Excuse me, but could I talk to Yumi privately for a minute, please?"  
  
"Yeah, sure. We'll catch up with you later." Yumi's friends quickly departed, knowing they'd get the full story later.  
  
"Hello Ranma, how can I help you?"   
  
"Hi, I was wondering if you'd like to go out for a coffee sometime?" Ranma was starting to sweat. "I mean if you don't have a boyfriend or any plans or anything." 'Great, that sounded lame.'  
  
  
  
Yumi decided that Ranma was under enough pressure just asking her out, and as such fought the giggle forming at his sub par, yet somehow endearing, chat up technique. "Yes, I would Ranma. I'll have to check when I'm free this weekend, but I'll let you know at lunchtime."  
  
"Thanks, I -" The bell rang. "Had better get going to class. I'll see you at lunchtime, Yumi." Ranma ran off to his first lesson relieved that she hadn't turned him down.  
  
Yumi walked to her lesson with a smile on her face. She may have been free for the weekend, but she didn't want to seem that she'd waiting for him to ask her out for the past few weeks.  
  
"So then sis, how are going to get Ranma in the sack?" Yoko asked, appearing from behind a corner.  
  
"I take it you heard everything?"  
  
"Yes. Do you want to double team him?" Yoko could be as blunt as a wardrobe in the company of her family.  
  
"Did you see how nervous he was? We could scare him off women forever."  
  
Yoko gave that opinion some serious thought. "That would be a huge injustice. No, you're right. We had better take it slowly."  
  
'I want him first, anyway.' Yumi thought deviously. "We need to plan this properly. I get the feeling he could be the greatest lover we've ever taken."  
  
********************************  
  
Quietly, Ukyo sat with her friends and observed Ranma become the talk of the playground. Now this wasn't terribly unusual; as one of the more well known students, he was frequently the subject of speculation, gossip and fantasy.  
  
"So, it finally happened: Ranma getting a clue about a girl and asking her out." Ryoko mentioned to her friends.  
  
"It's about time, I know." Ukyo lamented.  
  
"How do you think he'll do on the date, Ucchan?" Reika asked.  
  
"Well, we know that Yumi is rather forward, and Ranchan is a bit shy, so we may have to give him some advice." Ukyo shifted slightly. "The wild card to watch out for is Yoko."   
  
"You're worried about her trying to break them up because of some sisterly squabble?" Ryoko asked.  
  
Ukyo nodded.  
  
Ranma walked up to his sister and friends. "Hey Ucchan, can I sit with you and your friends?"  
  
"Of course, Ranchan. How's it going with Yumi?"  
  
"We're going out for coffee on Saturday afternoon. I'm meeting her at the place down the road at 2." Ranma stated excitedly.   
  
"Careful Ranchan, you don't want to seem too eager, or you'll make a fool of your self."  
  
"I'm just really happy at the moment, Ucchan. I'm still nervous, though. Asking her out went well, but what do I actually do on the date?"  
  
Ukyo looked at her brother and then her friends. This was going to take awhile.  
  
"It's a little hard to explain, Ranchan."   
  
********************************  
  
By the time Saturday afternoon came around, Ranma was no longer excited but a huge bag of nerves. He had heard how some dates had gone badly from his friends. Nodoka's fussing over him hadn't helped.  
  
Dressed in a pair of semi formal black slacks and a long-sleeved blue-grey shirt, Ranma checked his appearance in the mirror.  
  
"Don't worry son, it will be fine if you believe it will."  
  
"I know." Ranma took a deep breath.   
  
"Hey Ranchan, why don't you roll the sleeves up on your shirt to show her your manly arms?" Ucchan suggested, walking by. Many of the girls at school wanted to be held in Ranma's arms, at least that is what Ukyo was lead to believe.  
  
"Yes, that's a good idea. Right let's check you've got everything. Wallet with cash, keys, gift of chocolates. Are you ready, Ranma?"  
  
Ranma nodded as he checked his pockets for the items. "As ready as I'll ever be."  
  
  
  
********************************  
  
Ranma walked into the coffee shop where Yumi was waiting. 'Crap, I'm late.' Checking his watch with the clock on the wall, 'that's odd, I make it just before 2.'  
  
"Ranma!" Yumi called out.  
  
"Oh hi, Yumi. I didn't keep you waiting did I?"  
  
"No, I just got here. Take a seat." Yumi ushered her date into his seat.  
  
Yumi ordered some tea and cakes for the two of them. She was in the middle of getting the small talk going by asking about the upcoming Kendo tournament, when her sister arrived.  
  
"Hey there, sis!" a voice called out to the pair at the table.  
  
"It's my sister, Yoko," 'She's right on time.'   
  
"Are you going to introduce me to your date, Yumi?"  
  
"Ranma, this is my sister, Yoko. Yoko this is Ranma.  
  
"Hi," Ranma did a double take. "Let guess, twin sister, right?"  
  
"Yep. Hey, I remember you, you're captain of the kendo club."   
  
"Yeah, that's me. Are you going to cheer on my team?"  
  
"Oh yes, we'll both be there to cheer you on." Yoko mentioned slyly.  
  
"That's nice to hear," Ranma missed the slip, not being as aware as would become legend.  
  
Yumi looked at Yoko, she nodded.  
  
"Do you think that it's important to share, Ranma?" Yoko asked as she sat next to him.  
  
"Yeah, I do. Why?"  
  
"Well, we have a theory that some things are best shared," Yoko started to stroke Ranma's arm.  
  
"L-like what?" Ranma gulped. 'What's with these girls? Why are they looking at me like that?'  
  
"Oh certain things," Yumi moved next to her date, trapping him.  
  
Ranma was eyeing up the nearest exit, you would have to be blind not to see that he was looking for a way out.  
  
Yumi realised that Ranma was getting skittish and that the date was going to end in disaster if it continued on this track. "Well Ranma, would you like to go for a walk with me?"  
  
Seeing a chance to escape an uncomfortable situation, Ranma took it. "Yeah, I think I could do with some fresh air."  
  
Yoko looked at Ranma. 'He is really that shy. Well, I hope it doesn't take too long for him to come round to realise the joy of sex.' "Well, I had better get going, Yumi, I'll see you later, ok?"  
  
"Yeah, see you later, Yoko. Come on Ranma let's walk through the park, it's a nice day."  
  
"Yeah, it is." Ranma had calmed down considerably.  
  
********************************  
  
Walking through the park, Yumi decided to put plan 'B' into action. Yelping in pain, she feigned injury on her ankle and fell against Ranma.  
  
"Are you aright, Yumi?" Ranma asked when he caught her.  
  
"I'll be alright. Gahh!" 'Heh, he's falling for it.'  
  
"Hang on, let me help you." Ranma swept Yumi in his arms and carried her off to the shade of a nearby tree.  
  
"R-ranma," Yumi sobbed, "can you hold me?"  
  
"Y-yeah. Like this?" Ranma gently held Yumi against his chest. 'Her hair smells nice.'  
  
"Hmm," Yumi snuggled into Ranma's chest. 'Oh, yeah, nice and slow. Like taming a wild horse.'  
  
"Yumi, is something wrong?"  
  
"..."  
  
Holding his date at arms length, Ranma looked her in the eye. "Yumi, please tell me if there's something wrong. I keep worrying that I've offended you. If there's anything that I can do for you, please tell me."  
  
"It's nothing. I just trod awkwardly and I got scared that I hurt myself like Yoko. She broke her ankles ice-skating and had to stop being a cheerleader."  
  
"So you're worried that you were going to have to miss the tournament?"  
  
"Y-yes."  
  
"I have some experience with injuries, I can take a look if you like."  
  
"Please, if it's not too much trouble." 'Hmm, maybe I should flash him my panties.'   
  
Ranma's inspection of Yumi's ankle was calm, clinical and very professional. In fact, one might have forgotten that he was a 14 year-old male. "You should be ok, if you rest up for a bit. It's these shoes, they're not very practical."  
  
"Ranma, can you hold me again?" Yumi flashed him a slightly wounded look, one calculated to make feel guilty if he refused her.  
  
"Uhh, ok." Ranma gently held his date under the shade of the tree.  
  
Yumi positioned herself against Ranma's body, making sure that he was well aware of gender and that she liked him.  
  
"You seem tense, Ranma."  
  
"I-I'm not used to having pretty girls in my arms." Ranma's honesty would get him in trouble one of these days.   
  
"You think I'm pretty?" Yumi started to fish for compliments.  
  
"Yes, I think you're very pretty."   
  
"Are you enjoying our date?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Why is that?" 'You didn't look up my skirt.'  
  
"Well, I don't want to sound like a complete pervert or anything, but I'm enjoying just holding you in my arms. I was really worried that something bad would happen, like on TV or something," Ranma smiled.   
  
Yumi laughed, "I know what you mean. This is the best date I've been on for a while." She snuggled up to Ranma's chest and closed her eyes. Soon she was snoozing lightly.  
  
Ranma started to become anxious again, only this time he was worried that he was a boring date. Shaking her gently to wake her up, "Yumi, wake up, please. If I'm boring you, I'm sorry."  
  
Yumi awoke saw that she was in Ranma's arms and smiled. She moved in for the kiss, but he backed off. "What, we're still clothed?"  
  
"Y-yeah, we're in the park, remember?"  
  
"You are a bold one, on a first date. In public no less." Yumi looked again, to her dismay, she saw that they hadn't been fooling around.   
  
Ranma was doing a credible koi impression. 'She wanted me to be a pervert?'  
  
"I'm sorry Ranma, I'm just teasing you. I'm glad you've been a perfect gentleman today."   
  
Yumi got up and started stretching, "Some of the others at school would have been all over me. You treated me with respect and dignity." She bent down and kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you Ranma, I would say this date has been a success. It looks like it might start raining soon, would you be so kind as to walk me home?"   
  
Ranma nodded, and stood up. "Is it far?"  
  
Yumi gently held onto Ranma's arm, "15 minutes walk."   
  
The couple strolled to Yumi's house under darkening skies, arriving just as it started to rain.  
  
"Come in Ranma, at least until the rain stops."  
  
"Ok, but only 'til it stops raining." Ranma allowed himself to be lead inside the Oshii residence.  
  
"Take a seat and make yourself comfortable, Ranma, I'll make some tea."  
  
********************************  
  
In the kitchen, Yumi was preparing to go to plan 'C' to achieve her goal of some "sweet Ranma lovin'". She was getting the tea things ready when her mother entered.  
  
"So then, Yumi how did the date go? I notice you've not changed your clothes."  
  
"He was the perfect gentleman." Yumi smiled.  
  
Mrs Oshii raised an eyebrow. "But I thought you wanted this boy?"  
  
"He held me in his arms, mom. He said the date was good because he 'got to hold a pretty girl in his arms.' I even fell asleep there." Yumi filled up the kettle. "He's here if you want a look."  
  
Mrs Oshii left to inspect her daughter's escort.  
  
********************************  
  
'Oooh, he is a handsome devil.' "Hello there, I'm Mrs Oshii, Yumi's mother."  
  
"H-hello, I'm Ranma Yotsuga," Ranma turned and bowed from the waist.  
  
"So how did your date go?"  
  
"Ok, I guess. We just walked in the park, but Yumi tripped, her ankle's fine, though." 'I best not mention she fell asleep in my arms or she'll think I did something perverted to her daughter.'  
  
"Oh. Anyway I have work to do, so I'll leave you two alone." Mrs Oshii winked and left.  
  
'What did she mean by that?' Ranma was not left much time to ponder that as Yumi arrived with the tea.  
  
Yumi handed Ranma a cup of tea. "Here you go."  
  
"Thanks."   
  
Yumi nervously fiddled with a small bottle concealed in her left hand, gently squeezing the dropper in the top.  
  
Yoko appeared looking bored. "I see you're back. Is that tea fresh?"  
  
"Yes, I just made it." Yumi was thankful for her sister's distraction as she put a few drops of a liquid in Ranma's tea.  
  
Ranma sipped his tea, oblivious to what was planned for him. Yoko quickly retrieved a cup for herself and poured some tea.  
  
The sisters started to make small talk with Ranma waiting for the concentrated dose of potion to take effect.  
  
After a few minutes, Ranma loosened the collar on his shirt. "Whoa, I just felt a bit funny there. Does your tea taste ok?"   
  
"Yes, why?" Yoko asked.  
  
"I-I can't explain it properly, it feels like I've been drinking sake. My head is all fuzzy," Ranma's eyes started to glaze over.  
  
"I think you should lie down Ranma," Yumi's acting was good.  
  
The sisters manoeuvred Ranma to Yumi's room where his shirt was quickly removed.  
  
Yoko smiled, "I knew it was a good idea to get those pharmacology and hypnosis books."  
  
"Yeah, it's time for the hypnotic suggestion. Ranma when you awaken, you'll remember nothing about what went on in my room, all that happened on the date is we walked through the park, you walked me home and you stayed until the rain stopped."  
  
"Nothing happened," Ranma slurred.  
  
"That's a good boy. Now take off your clothes," Yumi commanded.  
  
Ranma mechanically shed the rest his clothing, not realising that what he was doing.  
  
Yoko was impressed at Ranma's equipment. "What now, Yumi?"  
  
"Ranma take my panties off using your teeth."   
  
Ranma complied as if nothing was wrong. Mind you, in his state, he could have been on fire and not be too bothered.  
  
Yoko was getting jealous at this and decided she wanted some sweet Ranma lovin'. Undressing quickly, she revealed a body comparable to that of her sister's. Crawling towards Ranma, she called out to the boy. "Ranma, lie on your back now. That's good. Yumi, you sit on his face, I'll take care of this."   
  
Yoko started to kiss the pig-tailed boy's washboard stomach. Working her way down, she noticed 'Little Ranma' started to stir. She smiled.  
  
********************************  
  
"Wait a minute, Captain. Are you saying that your first sexual experience was actually date-rape?" Mei was stunned at this.  
  
"Yes." Ranma's reply was in a sad voice.  
  
"That explains why you seem a bit twitchy around aggressive women," Maaya said thoughtfully.   
  
"You'd think that wouldn't you? But I didn't know about what happened until later," Ranma said in a dismissive tone. "But when I found out I kind of freaked out..."  
  
********************************  
  
"So then, Miss Oshii, how have you been enjoying your time with Ranma?" Kei Yamada questioned the student.  
  
'You're just bitter because I can date him without getting into trouble,' Yumi thought smugly. "Very much so, why do you ask?"  
  
"Well," moving in closer to the girl, "I hear that Ranma might not be willingly putting out."  
  
"What are you suggesting?"  
  
"That maybe you're doing something to Ranma. I asked him how the dates went and he was a little vague on some of the details. Namely what happened when he got to your house."  
  
"What does that have to do with you? I mean it's not like he's your son or lover is he?"  
  
"No, he's my student and I have to look out for him. What did you do to him to make him so out of it the next day?"  
  
Ranma was walking up the corridor when he heard his girlfriend and teacher talking.  
  
"My sister and I are having mind-blowing sex with Ranma," Yumi smirked.  
  
'We are? But I would remember if we did that, wouldn't I?' Ranma ducked out of sight.  
  
"WHAT!?!" Ms Yamada screamed. "How could you take advantage of Ranma like that?"  
  
"It sounds like you're jealous, Yamada-SENSEI." Yumi placed the emphasis on the teacher's role.  
  
Ranma turned away slowly having decided that he had to be alone with his thoughts. He saw Ucchan and signalled to her that he'd catch up with her later.  
  
********************************  
  
A knocking sound interrupted the story.  
  
"Excuse, Captain Yotsuga?"  
  
"Yeah, in here. What can I help you with?"  
  
"The chief wants to see you. Something about a mission."  
  
"Ok. Sorry folks, I'll have to finish this one another time. Try not to trash the place while I'm gone," smirked Ranma.  
  
"Not again!" Megumi wailed.  
  
Maaya smiled, "he's incredibly lucky when it comes to things like this."  
  
********************************  
  
"Ahh, good afternoon, Captain. This is the Chinese ambassador, Terrance Chang."  
  
Ranma bowed to the man, "I'm Captain Ranma Yotsuga. Special Vehicles, second section. What can I do for you?"  
  
"We need your help in an investigation back on the mainland."  
  
"I'm not sure that we are the best to help you with it. If it's a commercial model malfunction, then the manufacturer would be the ones to consult. If it is a military labor, the it is quite clearly an internal matter." Ranma paused for a moment. "Last time I was in China, your Labor Crime Unit was just being formed. Why can't they handle it? Wouldn't bringing us in cause them a huge loss of face?"  
  
"You are quite right, Captain, the Labor Crime Unit should be handling it. The government, however, wants to get help on this one. And as the neighbour with the most experience on labor incidents, we thought that you could help us out."  
  
"Is Beijing concerned about internal corruption again? That's the only reason I can think of right now for bringing us in. I will say this again - if it is a military labor problem, then the military should handle it. I don't want any of my team exposed to official secrets that might cause them trouble."  
  
"Captain Yotsuga, I can see why many of the labor units around the world look up to you. There are some concerns from the LCU about just what this problem entails, and quite frankly, they are at a loss to explain it."  
  
"So you want independent verification on some of the bizarre goings on? Well, I guess that if Tokyo can spare us for a week or two, then we can help. But I'm holding you responsible for if any of my team are imprisoned because of any classified information or hurt because of information you give or don't give me. Understand?"  
  
The ambassador nodded.  
  
"Well then, I'll get my team together. Who's paying for this little excursion?"  
  
"We are," replied Chang.  
  
"It's nice to hear that Special Vehicles aren't being billed for once," Ranma smiled at the two older men in the room.  
  
********************************  
  
To be continued.  
  
(1) This is what many of the girls referred to Ranma as (or any other boy from the school that they thought might be worth dating), especially the older girls. It is worth pointing out that Ranma's current school is a special case in that it has both junior and senior high school students. It is a bit like the school Sorata teaches at in 'Mouse.'  
  
Notage:-  
  
Sorry to end the flash-back when I did, but I didn't want to bump the rating up too much.  
  
Next time Ranma meets up with some Chinese friends of his?  
  
More of the Captain's sordid past?  
  
More feedback, if you please. You know the drill by now:-  
  
(lordraa) (digitalpimp) (.co.uk)  
  
Until the next time, laterer. 


	7. Woo Hoo! Dinner on the Captain

Chapter 6  
  
********************  
  
"So then folks, who here has a valid passport?"  
  
Most of Second section raised their hands.  
  
Ranma raised an eyebrow. "Well I wasn't expecting that many of you to have passports. Anyway, who wants to go to China with me?"  
  
"Why do ou want to know, Captain?" asked Ken. "You're not taking us out on vacation are you?"  
  
"No," chuckled Ranma, "this is official business. We are being asked by the Chinese government to help in an investigation. Apparently there have been some strange reports from their Labor Crime Unit in the wilderness, so don't expect to be put up in a five star hotel."  
  
Mei and Maaya whispered to each other in a conspiratorial manner.  
  
Megumi was concerned about the book. "Captain, what about me?"  
  
"That's a good question, Megumi. I don't think it's appropriate for you to come with us on this case. It being an international affair probably would means that they've already classified it. Sorry about that." Ranma was apologetic.  
  
Ken was thinking about the Captain's timing when it came to avoiding certain things, namely giving up the juicy details about his "sordid past". That was the Captain's choice of words, not his. "Captain, whereabouts in China are we going?"  
  
"Qinghai province, don't worry I've been there before. Though there are some safety aspects that I want all of those that choose to come should be aware of. Also we will be leaving Tokyo in the hands of First Section, so remember that they will be overworked for however long we are gone for on this trip plus the snow festival."  
  
Ranma went over to the tea set and pour himself a cup. "We will owe them a favour or two, plus we should get souveniers for them, or they'll start hating us. Assuming that they don't already."  
  
Sipping from the cup, he turned to his team. "Before you volunteer, I want everybody to know about certain details."  
  
*****************************  
  
"WHAT? Again?"  
  
"Just what sin have we commited?"  
  
"It's alright for some isn't it? Getting to go galavanting around the world like that. Second Section get all the breaks."  
  
"I know how you feel, but this was a request from the Chinese ambassador. If I know Yotsuga though, he'll bring us back gifts to smooth things over. He's leaving tomorrow, so there's no point in asking for a transfer, Endo." Captain Honda added almost absently.  
  
The officer in question sat back down and grumbled.  
  
"Not that it would matter anyway, Endo. I think I know why you want to transfer to my unit. What is it with you women and your weird obssession with sex?" Ranma spoke from the doorway.  
  
Officet Rei Endo's face acquired a nice shade of scarlet, much to the amusement of her colleages in the room.  
  
Honda shook his head. "What can we help you with, Captain?"  
  
"I've come to apologise to you all for leaving you to do all the work like this."  
  
"Captain Yotsuga, it seems that Second Section get all the breaks, and well, we're not too happy about this."   
  
Ranma flashed them a winning smile before giving them the rest of the news. "Before you all start beying for my blood, you should know that this trip is counted against vacation time for all of those that are going. Yeah, that's right folks; a working holiday in the mountains of China during November."  
  
"Ahh, we didn't know about that part," one of First Section's pilots replied.  
  
"I get the feeling that you just heard trip to China on somebody else's budget." Ranma looked at the others in the room, "don't worry I would have felt the same way too."  
  
Turning to the door, Ranma casually added "don't expect much as we're not there to shop, but we'll try to pick you all something up." With that, Ranma left for his office to use the phone.  
  
****************************  
  
A phone rang in a restaurant.  
  
"Hi, Ucchan's, how can I help you?"  
  
"Hi, is Ukyo there?"   
  
"Hold on one moment, I'll check. Who shall I say is calling?"  
  
"Ranma," came the reply.  
  
A minute later, the phone was picked up again.   
  
"Ranchan?"  
  
"Hiya, Ucchan. I've got some news for you."  
  
"What, you've found someone to settle down with?"  
  
Ranma chuckled, "no, not yet. I'm going to China tomorrow for work. Apparently there is something they can't explain."  
  
"Cool, how long for?"  
  
"A week. Two at the most. I think that some of my team are dying to meet you, can I book a table for this evening?"  
  
"Yeah, sure. How many?"  
  
"Hmm, eight from work in total, I think. The book lady no doubt thinks this is a great chance to uncover some of my sordid past."  
  
Ukyo laughed, "I'll try not to embarrass you too much, Ranchan."  
  
"Thanks, Ucchan. How's Hiro?"  
  
"He just walked in. Hey Hiro, wanna talk to your uncle Ranma?"  
  
The phone was quickly wrenched away from Ucchan's hand. "Hey, uncle Ranma, how's it going?"  
  
"It's going good, I'm going to China tomorrow. I'll be by later with Second Section, I know how they want to meet you and your mother. You can sit with us if your mom says it's alright."  
  
"Mom, can I sit with you and uncle Ranma tonight, he's bringing Second Section here."  
  
A faint "only if you've done your homework" could be heard.  
  
"Well, I guess I had better let you get back to work. See you later, Hiro."  
  
Ukyo was handed back the phone. "Ranchan?"  
  
"Yeah, Ucchan?"  
  
"Where in China are you going?"  
  
"Qinghai province, why?"  
  
"I just wondered, that's all. Hey isn't that where those Amazons live?"  
  
"Yeah, it's that neck of the woods. Don't worry, I've warned my team about some of the local dangers."  
  
"Well, the afternoon rush is beginning, so I'll see you later. Bye, Ranchan."  
  
"Bye Ucchan," Ranma hung up the phone.   
  
Turning to the door, he decided to tell his team about the planned evening meal.  
  
****************************  
  
"Maaya, do you really think that going with the Captain on this trip is such a good idea? I mean, it counts againt our vacation time, and it's going to be out in the sticks during November."  
  
"I know what you mean, Mei. But, we will be on one of the Captain's little adventures. Remember that he said he'd been to this area before?"  
  
"You're always worried about your creature comforts aren't you, Hayashi?" Ranma asked, somewhat rhetorically from the doorway. "Remember, it's the experiences that we go through that form our character. Just be thankful you're not training to be martial artists, then you would know hardships. Pack warm clothes and you'll be alright. Now, what are you doing for dinner tonight?"   
  
"Are you asking me out on a date?" Mei asked, her voice filled with hope.   
  
"No, I'm just taking you all out to meet my sister and nephew. I hope you like okonomiyaki. I told you that I won't date a co-worker." Ranma turned to leave the room. "Oh, one other thing; how come most of you have passports? You do realise that this little fact makes the Second Section a huge stastical blip?" (1)  
  
"Well, Ken mentioned that you'd travelled abroad a bit, so we figured that we might get the chance to go with you. Plus there was the time you were kidnapped," Kosuke answered.  
  
"Ahh, so it's because of me?" Ranma rubbed his chin thoughtfully, almost posing. "But enough ego stroking for now, remember I'll meet you at Ucchan's at 7.30. For the record, who is coming with me to China? I need to tell them how many are going."  
  
Mei, Maaya, Ken and Kou all indicated their desire to go. Ranma nodded in agreement, it made sense for the pilots and their back up officers to go.  
  
"Tomino, you and Kosuke will be back up for First Section, should they need the help. Is Megumi in my office?"  
  
Tomino nodded.  
  
"Right, well I'll go tell her about the plans for dinner."  
  
Just as Ranma left their sight, the penny dropped.  
  
"Ucchan's?" Mei and Maaya looked at each other.  
  
"What about it?" Tomino asked, not really picking up on his captain's subtle hints.  
  
"Toto-chan, don't you get it? Ucchan is his sister. We'll get to find out more about the Captain." Maaya rolled her eyes. (2)  
  
"Oh, yeah. D'oh!"  
  
****************************  
  
When Ranma sat down at his desk, he decided to let his assistant know about the evening's plans. "Megumi, I have some good news - tonight, you get to meet my sister and nephew. But that's only on the assumption that you have no plans for the evening. I'm going out for okonomiyaki with Second Section. Meet us at Ucchan's at 7.30, if you're interested." Ranma finished with a smile.  
  
"What? Yeah, ok, I'll come with you." Megumi was slightly taken aback by the sudden invitation to dinner by Ranma.  
  
"Just don't expect too many details from my sordid past," Ranma finished in a mischieavous grin.  
  
****************************  
  
To be continued.  
  
(1) I'm pretty sure that I read somewhere that the percentage of Japanese people with valid passports is quite low compared to other countries. If this is not the case in real life, then consider it so in this story.  
  
(2) Why do Second Section refer to Tomino as Toto-chan? Well the reason is the first syllables of his family name and given name are "To". Also he seems to be sleeping or at least really dozy most of the time, like a cat, so he got labled Toto-chan.   
  
Next time on Super Giant Robot Carnival?:-   
  
Ucchan meets Second Section and "The Book Lady"  
  
Ranma tells his dinner party about his first trip to China.  
  
We actually see Ranma working  
  
A bitter-sweet reunion in China?  
  
Please leave your opinions in your usual manner.  
  
Email, for the problem solving, yet forgetful:  
  
(lordraa) (digitalpimp) (.co.uk) 


	8. Respect for Kuno?

Super Giant Robot Carnival  
  
By Lord Raa  
  
Chapter 7  
  
***************************  
  
Ranma was sitting at the Ucchan's counter, talking with his nephew about his homework, when he noticed a man touch up one of the waitresses.  
  
Shaking his head in disgust, he called the waitress over when she had a free minute.  
  
"Do you know that man over there?" he gestured to the groper. "I mean is he a friend or something?"  
  
"No, I don't know him. Why?"  
  
"I saw how he touched you. Do you want me to talk with him about his behaviour?"  
  
"You'd do that? For me?"  
  
"I'd do that for anybody I saw being molested. I'll have a word with him."  
  
Ranma stood up and sauntered over to the slightly drunken salary-man.  
  
The waitress stood there with hearts filling her eyes.  
  
Hiro merely rolled his, muttering something about a "hero complex."   
  
"Excuse me, sir, this establishment has rules about the treatment of the staff."  
  
"What do you care?"  
  
"Now sir, I realise that you've had a few drinks this evening, so I am giving you the chance to save face. Pay your bill and go home, walk of the booze."  
  
"What, you sayin' I can't handle my booze!?!" the man was raising his voice.  
  
"That's not it at all sir. You see that waitress over there? You know, the one whose bottom you pinched? Well, she's my friend and I don't like seeing my friends upset."  
  
The salary-man stood up to glare at Ranma's face. "That's it. Outside now!"  
  
"Sir, that is a bad idea."  
  
"For you maybe, I know karate!" The man moved into a sloppy stance.  
  
"I don't doubt that for a second, sir. It's just that," Ranma pulled out his police badge, "I think you should reconsider this course of action. Assaulting a police officer would reflect badly on your company."  
  
But Ranma's words could not disuade the salary-man from his chosen course of action. He lunged at Ranma.  
  
Ranma merely looked bored as he blocked and dodged his attacker. When he decided to counterattack, he only pulled out the man's wallet and told Hiro to write his address down.  
  
Noting Hiro's blank look, Ranma replied "force majeure. Time to end this."  
  
Ranma stopped playing with his target and pinned him to the floor in a blur of limbs.  
  
"Now that I have your undivided attention, will you listen to me? I have plans for this evening, so I don't want to deal with the paperwork surrounding your arrest for assault. That is the only reason for you still being able to walk off your booze. Do it now," Ranma ordered.  
  
"Y-yes sir."  
  
The salary-man was let up and quickly pulled a number of bills out, far more then his bill actually came to. He grabbed his coat and ran off without looking back once.  
  
Ukyo came out onto the restaurant floor with a puzzled look on her face, "what happened here, Ranchan?"  
  
"Just doing the duty of every police officer, protecting the innocent. Why?"  
  
"I thought I heard a scuffle, that's all." She turned to her son, "what really happened, Hiro-chan?"  
  
"Uncle Ranma was just dealing with a pervert, that's all. What did you mean by 'force majeure'?"  
  
"Literally, it means an unstopable or superior force. But sometimes it used to describe a an unexpected or uncontrollable event."  
  
Hiro continued to have a blank look.  
  
Ranma rolled his eyes. "Like in a situation when we have to stop a rampaging Labor?"  
  
"So you meant that you might of destroyed his home by 'accident'?" Hiro asked his uncle.  
  
Ranma nodded when someone entered the restaurant.  
  
"Hey Captain!" Ken called out.  
  
"Hi Uraki, you're right on time," Ranma replied.  
  
"Yeah, some guy nearly ran into me on the way here. Something had him spooked."  
  
Ranma chuckled, "I had something to do with that. Defending the honour of my friends and all."  
  
"F-friends?" the waitress asked hesitantly.  
  
"Yeah, any friend of Ucchan's is a friend of mine. Unless you've decided that you hate me."  
  
"N-no, but we only met today."  
  
"I fail to see your so called point."  
  
Ken chuckled, "I don't think that's the problem here, Captain." Moving in to whisper to Ranma, "I think you just acquired a new admirer."   
  
"Not another one, " Ranma cursed.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Nothing. That's my sister Ucchan, her son, Hiro. The waitress is Aoi, is it?"  
  
"Yes, it is." The waitress was still a little dazed.  
  
"Right everybody, this is Ken Uraki. He's command car driver for Mei Hayase, our second pilot."  
  
"Hi everyone." Uraki bowed.  
  
"Captain," Megumi greeted from the doorway.  
  
Ranma smiled, he was about to say something when the rest of Second Section arrived.  
  
"Ah, I'm glad that you're all here. First things first, I want introduce everybody.  
  
Ukyo and Hiro, this is Special Vehicles Second section. Step forward as I call you name, please. Ken Uraki. Mei Hayase. Toshiro Tomino Maaya Yamamoto. Kou Tezuka. Kosue Miura.  
  
Megumi Kawamitsu, this is my sister Ukyo and her son Hiro."  
  
"Pleased to meet you all," Ucchan and Hiro bowed to the guests.  
  
"It's an honour to meet the family of the famous Captain Yotsuga," Megumi spoke with awe in her voice.  
  
"Now, if we are all ready to be seated," Ukyo gestured to the reserved table. "Where do you think you're going, Hiro? Is your homework done?"  
  
"But mom," Hiro whined, "it's almost done."  
  
"Almost doesn't get the job done, son." Ukyo spoke in a sagely tone.  
  
"It's my fault, Ucchan. I asked him do do something for me, and it interrupted his work." Ranma covered for his nephew.  
  
"Well, I don't know..." Ucchan teased.  
  
"Mom!"  
  
"Alright, but no TV tomorrow."  
  
"Before you complain, Hiro, I won't be able to watch TV for at least a week. Maybe even two." Ranma exaggerated his statement of the fact as if it was some major hardship.  
  
"And he's been good this week," Megumi playfully added. She looked at Ranma, "what?"  
  
Ranma shook his head, "let's eat. Now what is it that you all wanted to know?"  
  
A barrage of questions came from all sides, including Ucchan and Hiro.  
  
"Right, I only got about a third of those. You don't expect me to reveal all of my secrects do you?"  
  
The table went quiet for a moment, then Ken asked "How do you know so much about where we're going in China?"  
  
"I had been invited to a seminar on labor crime in China."  
  
"Ranchan, we know that there's more to this," Ukyo insisted.  
  
Ranma glared at his adopted sister. "Of course there is, Ukyo."  
  
Ukyo flinched, Ranma only called her that when he was upset.  
  
"I'm just trying to word it so they," he gestured to Second Section, "don't do something rash when we're there. We, the delagation from Japan, were flying back home when the plane encountered a problem and was forcerd to make an emergency landing. Unfortunately most of the passengers were unable to get off the plane before the fuel tanks exploded. One of the other survivors mentioned that there was a small village nearby and suggested that we stayed there for the time being. We left a message telling the recovery team where we headed and left a trail for them.  
  
"Well when we reached the nearest settlement, we requested and recieved shelter inside the Amazon village. As I walked around with a guide, Captain Nagumo talked with one of the Elders."  
  
"Captain Nagumo? But we thought that you were in Second Section," Ken pointed out.  
  
"I was. I was also loaned to First Section on a semi-regular basis. Before you ask, it was because of some quirk with the budget that neither section could afford to keep me on as permanent pilot or command back up or carrier driver. So I bounced around as a jack of all trades, doing what they asked. Captains Goto and Nagumo came to the arrangement that I would be seconded as when I was needed, as they both felt that I was too good to let go completely. Goto himself that that I was just what Second Section needed."  
  
Ucchan took up the next part, "when Ranchan first joined the police labor division, Second Section had a bad reputation. All sorts claims of incompetence, recklessness, but when he started to pilot his labor, there was less damage to private and public property. Plus he was easy on the eye, so the PR department thought he was great."  
  
"He still is and they still do," Megumi added. "They're the ones that wanted the book to be written," she explained. "Sorry, Captain, please continue."  
  
"I was walking around the village with my guide, when I noticed certain looks from the local women. I recognised some of those looks from whenever I went out with my fiancee; jealousy, envy and lust. I asked my guide to tell them that I had a fiancee and that while I was flattered, that I wasn't interested.  
  
"That held them off for the time being, however someone overheard me talking with one of the elders and the Captain..."  
  
***************************  
  
The Amazon village.  
  
Ranma, Shinobu and Cologne were sitting at a table in the afternoon sunshine.  
  
"I can really see the appeal of this lifestyle, elder. It makes a nice change from the hustle and bustle of Tokyo."  
  
"So then, young man, are you tempted to stay here? You seem to have caught the eye of a number of our unmarried warriors."  
  
Ranma blushed, "I'm not available at the moment, elder. I have a fiancee that I love very much. Were I unattached and my job not so important to me, then yes, I would be."  
  
"That's a shame, what is your job? If you don't mind me asking," Cologne subtly questioned the pigtailed policeman.  
  
"I'm a labor pilot. The captain and I work for the police."  
  
"Yes, we try to prevent labor crime by investigating plots. But mainly we just stop rogue labors from destroying Tokyo," Nagumo informed their host. "We were returning from an event in Beijing when our plane made that emergency landing."  
  
"Yes, we had heard that the flight was bound for Tokyo."  
  
In the bushes, a small figure thought to herself, 'if he was to stop caring about these "labors" and his fiancee, then we can convince him to stay and marry my daughter.'  
  
"Elder, I mean this with the upmost respect for your training methods, but, observing some of the warriors practicing," Ranma started gesturing to the warriors sparring in easy viewing distance of him, "I noticed that one has some holes in her defence. "  
  
"And," Cologne was intrigued by Ranma's analysis of the sparring, "just how many do you count?"  
  
"Well, she seems to be over confident. Don't get me wrong, she is the best one there so her confidence is valid, but she has to be careful that it doesn't turn into arrogance."  
  
"How will that view help my great-granddaughter?" Cologne asked, having a vague idea of her own.  
  
"If you want her to be the best, she needs to spar with some more varied opponents. Otherwise when someone with a more unorthodox style shows up, she could be hurt. I see at least two, not counting the most obvious ones."  
  
"Why not those, Yotsuga?" Nagumo asked, martial arts not being her forté.  
  
"They could be decoys, some branchs of the Art use misdirection and redirection to overcome stronger opponents. I couldn't tell you for sure though, I have yet to see some of the more advanced techniques, as you tend not to use those in a sparring match."  
  
Cologne raised a wrinkled eyebrow, 'well that's a mature analysis from him. I can see why he's respected by his captain.' she thought. "Care to give that theory a go, young man?"  
  
"Ah, no, elder. I just use martial arts to keep myself fit. I stopped studying it when I was a child. I no longer have the drive to be a martial artist."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"My father tried to teach me the Neko-ken."  
  
"What!?!" Cologne was shocked.  
  
"What's that?" Nagumo asked.  
  
"Something that caused the break up of my family." Ranma stated sadly.  
  
Cologne turned to captain Nagumo, "I''ll tell you later."  
  
Captain Nagumo just nodded.  
  
Suddenly , Ranma's danger sense flared. "Duck!" (1)  
  
He jumped at Nagumo, knocking her to the floor as a number of half a dozen spears came hurtling towards them.  
  
Cologne stood up, looking for the culprit. Her eyes narrowed. "Mousse."  
  
"Who's that, elder?" Ranma asked, helping his current captain up.  
  
"Someone who is obssessed with Shampoo, my great-granddaughter. Mousse, why have you attacked my two guests?" She asked the assailant in Chinese  
  
"I'm sorry, I thought he was harrassing Shampoo." Mousse repiled.  
  
Nagumo looked at herself then Shampoo, who was running up towards them, then back at herself. She turned to the elder, "Is there a problem with this man?"  
  
"Only he nearly blind. Mousse too, too stupid," Shampoo answered, thankful for her Japanese lessons. "I am Shampoo."  
  
"Whilst I am flattered to be mistaken for such a beautiful young woman, I don't like being attacked." Nagumo spoke in an errily calm tone.  
  
Ranma glared at the blind boy. "Are you going to apologise to the captain?"  
  
Cologne looked at Ranma, 'he certainly likes to help and protect people. But he's not a true warrior or healer.' "Mousse, we are waiting for an apology."  
  
Mousse bowed to Nagumo, "I am sorry."  
  
Nagumo turned to Cologne, "Can you tell him that I accept his apology, but I don't want to have to deal with any more attacks on myself or my subordinate, Ranma."  
  
Shampoo looked at Cologne, "No challenging him then?"   
  
"No. He is already betrothed, chasing after him would dishonour both him and yourself. But I would like you to befriend him. As an ally, he might prove useful. He spotted several holes in your defence earlier."  
  
Shampoo was both pleased and upset with that statement. Pleased because it proved that she had caught the eye of the handsome outsider, but upset as he was declared off limits by her great-grandmother.   
  
***************************  
  
  
  
"Why would they want to challenge you?"   
  
"Well Megumi, every tribe requires an influx of new blood over time and one way to get it is to marry strong fighters. Defeating an Amazon warrior would prove that you are a strong fighter, thus somewhat desirable - they have to give you the 'Kiss of Marriage'. Oh, and apparently if you defeat a warrior of the same sex, then they have to give you the 'Kiss of Death' - they promise to track you down to the ends of the earth to kill you. That is why I don't want any of you lot picking fights there."  
  
"Oh."  
  
Ranma smiled. "But to tell you the truth, I think that the 'Kiss of Death' is just to keep up appearences. It doesn't seem to be terribly practical, unlike the marriage laws. But please, don't test that theory, I have enough paperwork to do as it is without having to explain to the chief why any of you might not be coming back."  
  
This brought forth a round of chuckles form the table.  
  
"Hang a minute Captain, what else happened to you in China?" Maaya picked up on the vibe that Ranma came back a changed man.  
  
Ranma took a deep breath as he battled the bad memories. "I couldn't pilot labors after I returned. I don't know what was done to me, but I just couldn't pilot them for more than a few minutes without feeling sick. Coupled with the break up of my engagement, I was in a bad way for some time afterwards."  
  
"Engagement?" Ken asked. "You never mentioned that before?"  
  
"That's because it hurt for a long time after. I don't want to talk about that right now. Next question?"  
  
"Why didn't you introduce us to Ukyo earlier?" came from the direction of Tomino.  
  
Ranma rolled his eyes. "I try to keep my embarrassing stories in the family thank you very much."  
  
Ukyo and Hiro chuckled evilly.  
  
Mei turned to Ukyo, "The Captain seems to attract a number of female admirers, have any men tried to chat him up?"  
  
Ukyo smirked, "Oh yes. At my wedding my mother saw some guy trying to seduce Ranchan and practically chased him around with that sword of hers. She was shriking something about corrupting the manliness of her son. One of my husband's friends said it was called 'Love Sim Syndrome' or LSS."   
  
"What's that?" Mei asked.  
  
"Apparently it's a rare affliction. He was diagnosed by a university professor of admittidly dubious morallity."   
  
"Not professor Hasegawa," Hiro groaned. (2)  
  
"Who's that Hiro?" Kou sipped at his tea.  
  
"Someone who is under the impression that 'there are no boundaries as far as H is concerned'. In other words a pervert." Hiro looked down, ashamed of his late father's friend.  
  
"Oh, when does this LSS thing where off? Assuming it does, that is." Megumi was intrigued.  
  
Ukyo smiled at that. "Well, ok, I'll tell you. One, you find your soulmate. Two, you ride out the storm until you are too old to attract you ladies."  
  
"How old are you Captain?" Ken asked innocently.  
  
"36. Why?"  
  
Mei blushed as she thought aloud, "You've got some way to go yet, Captain."   
  
Ranma groaned. "What was the third option Ucchan? I seem to remember it being highly embarrassing. And as such I thought we might as well get it over with now."  
  
"I believe the professor said something about 'being serviced regularly by a harem of hot chicks or cute girls'," Hiro was unimpressed at that idea.   
  
Ken managed to get out: "T-that's the silliest thing I've ever heard. I can't ever imagine the Captain doing anything of the sort."  
  
"What makes you say that Ken?" Maaya looked at the other command car driver.  
  
"Just before I got here, the Captain saw off a pervert that molested a waitress."  
  
The rest of Second Section looked at Ranma.  
  
"What? Do I have food on my face?"  
  
"N-no, but that's one of the things that attracts us women to you Captain," Megumi confessed. A noticable blush crossing her face.  
  
"Right, note to self: stop being so heroic. Excuse me, please." Ranma stood to use the facilities.  
  
When the captain was out of hearing distance, Mei turned to Ucchan. "So what happened with his fiancée?"  
  
Ukyo sighed. "She broke up with him at the insistance of her father."  
  
Maaya looked at Ucchan. "Why?"  
  
"Ranchan's 'father'," Ukyo ground out with obvious distaste.  
  
Megumi frowned.  
  
Ranma returned at either the right or wrong time, depending on your point of view. Looking at the expressions on Ucchan's and Megumi's faces he correctly guessed the topic of conversation.  
  
"Why should I tell you the story of my failed engagement?" Now properly seated, Yotsuga asked the table.  
  
"..."  
  
"Do you all promise not to try and fix me up with somebody for the next six months?"  
  
The table nodded.  
  
"Promise not to go on some kind of crazy quest to avenge me or my broken heart?"  
  
More nods, accompanied with puzzles looks.   
  
"Good. I went to see my fiancée as soon as I could. I knocked on the door when she answered it..."  
  
***************************  
  
"Hello Kasumi. How are you?"  
  
"Ranma, this is a surprise. I - We thought you were dead," Kasumi became nervous.  
  
"Is something the matter?" Ranma asked, anxiety filling his features.  
  
"I think you'd better come in, Ranma."  
  
Ranma started to get a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach.  
  
"So this is the young man who went to China, eh?" Dr Tofu Ono appraised Ranma. Normally, he and Ranma would probably be friends, but this was a battle for the hand of the fair Kasumi Tendo.  
  
"Yes. I'm her fiancé, Ranma Yotsuga of the Special Vehicles, Second Section. And may I ask, who are you?"   
  
"Mr Yotsuga, you are very much mistaken," Soun Tendo walk in from the porch, "_this_ man is the fiancé of my eldest daughter. His name is Dr Tofu Ono."  
  
"Excuse me, could you explain what you mean by that?"  
  
"I have decided to break off your engagement to my daughter."  
  
"But, why? I thought you approved of our betrothal. You gave me your blessing just three weeks ago," Ranma thought he caught sight of a heavy-set man in a dirty gi.  
  
"That was before I found out about some of your activities, young man."  
  
"What? I'm a policeman - what do you mean?" Ranma's mind was running through all of his life and coming up blank.   
  
"Ranma, it's just that well, your plane crashed and we thought you were dead. At that time we found out about another fiancée." Kasumi's normally cheerful voice became stern as she thought about Ranma's alleged infidelity.  
  
"What other fiancée? You knew that I worked somewhat unsociable hours when I started to date you, Kasumi. When would I have time to find another fiancée?" Ranma asked, his voice filled with disbelief. "Why would I cheat on you?"  
  
"She came looking for you just as the news of your plane accident broke." Soun took a drag from his cigerette.  
  
"Did she say how we got engaged? How did she come to the conclusion that I lived here?"  
  
"She didn't say."   
  
"So aside from the fiancée that I didn't know about until just now, why am I no longer engaged to Kasumi?"  
  
"Your treatment of your father," Soun said angrily.  
  
Ranma started to get a further sinking feeling. "Mr Tendo, I have not seen my father for seven years. Before that it was nearly eight. Please could you explain how I have badly treated a man that I've seen, what, ONCE in ten years?"  
  
"Your disrespectful attitude for a start. Not to mention you sordid activities before you were a policeman." Soun's tone became more dramatic, "your abandoning of your family style of martial arts: the desecration of the sacred pledge to unit the schools of Anything Goes."  
  
Ranma was forced to take a few breaths to calm himself down. "Mr Tendo, I have always treated you and your family with respect and kindness. My lack of respect for my father is because of my own reasons. Reasons which I think he has neglected to tell you. Why, Kasumi, why?"  
  
"Ranma, I-I'm sorry. It just wouldn't work out between us. You never mentioned your father, so I believed he was dead. When he arrived here, I was taken aback by the things he said."  
  
"So then you believe my father over me?"  
  
The Tendos and Tofu nodded.  
  
Ranma sighed. "Then you are right, Kasumi. May I at least have the engagement ring back?"  
  
"I-I don't have it any more," Kasumi answered in a quiet voice.  
  
"Where is it?" Ranma asked in an exasperated manner.  
  
"I don't like your tone, young man. I think you should leave. Now!" The Doctor's tone became most icy.   
  
Ranma looked at Kasumi's new fiancé. "Fine." He pointed at Kasumi and Soun. "I just want you to know that I thought better of both of you. I'll see myself out. Goodbye."  
  
***************************  
  
"What happened to that ring, Captain?" Mei asked around a few bites of okonomiyaki.  
  
"We never did recover it. We think that Genma made a deal with Dr Ono. The 'Good Doctor' got Kasumi, the fat fool got some booze money. I suspect that the ring was stolen and pawned off," Ranma lamented.  
  
"Why would he do that?" Hiro asked.   
  
"Well, he and Mr Tendo were training partners under the same master, Hiro," Ranma answered. "They made a drunken pledge to unite the two schools of Anything Goes. But that just meant that they would live off the profits from a dojo run by their offspring. Genma showed up after I had left for China telling the Tendos about his wayward and disrespectful son that abandoned him, _mysteriously_ forgetting a few little details about the arranged marriage. But on to the next topic." Ranma's tone of voice told all listening to heed his advice.  
  
The impromptu inquisition found themselves unwilling to ask any more probing questions.  
  
"All out of questions, eh?" Ranma cast his gaze around at the table. He blinked. "Whoa. Unless my eyes decieve me, that's Tatewaki Kuno, the captain of the kendo club at Furinken."  
  
The tall man turned to the table and recognition flashed across his face. "Yotsuga, it has indeed been a while. How are you keeping?"  
  
"I'm well. How's Kodachi? Last I heard she was going to into local politics."  
  
Kuno smiled, "you are well informed. She is on the Tokyo transport council. Now which of these young ladies has fallen under your most vile spell?"  
  
Ranma, Ukyo and Tatewaki all looked at each other for a moment before bursting out laughing.  
  
"Heh, you've still got it, Tatewaki. I look forward to seeing your next work," Ukyo giggled.  
  
Second Section looked at the older people around the table blankly.  
  
Ranma decided not to fill them in. "You had to be at Furinken. Well I'll let you get on, Tatewaki. Take care and say hello to Kodachi if you see her."   
  
"Will do, Ranma. Ukyo." Kuno nodded and left the restaurant.  
  
"You didn't tell me Kuno came here, Ucchan."  
  
"You didn't ask, Ranchan. Now it's getting late and you've got a long day ahead of you tomorrow."  
  
"Yes mom," Ranma mocked, earning a glare from his sister and a chuckle from his nephew. He wisely shut up when Ucchan looked his way.  
  
***************************  
  
To be continued.  
  
(1) Just because he's no longer a martial artist, it doesn't mean that he lost the ability detect danger.  
  
(2) A Tsunami Channel reference. Sorry about that, but I just could not resist that. Idid mention that I was inspired by ideas from various sources. Tsunami Channel and the Professor are the intellectual property of Akira Hasegawa and can be found at http://tsunamichan.keenspace.com/  
  
(The 'Love Sim Syndrome' might be as well, but don't quote me on that. What do I know about such things?)  
  
Feedback via your usual method, if you please.  
  
Email for the problem solving, yet terribly forgetful:  
  
(lordraa) (digitalpimp) (.co.uk) 


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